4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails. –I Corinthians 13(NIV)
Greta and I believe that for love to make the world go around, it must begin in the home between husbands and wives. We believe that Love must be made over and over in the household between husbands and wives. Greta’s and I have a desire, to help marriages survive, blossom, grow, live and love!
Our community suffers because of the damage that divorce and feuding parents cause to our societal children. Too many marriages end because husbands and wives do not know how to get along. Marriage licenses are given without minimum requirements. Virtually no information has to be absorbed for a couple to apply for and receive a marriage license.
Many couples do not realize that a good marriage takes effort to build. Television gives us several models of marriages, yet they are only glimpses of what real marriages are like. Between a husband and wife, a good marriage takes endless conversation, love, determination, mutual respect and compromise. Husband and wife must work on themselves, as they are patient with one another. They work to embody the spiritual principle of love expressed in the passage of scripture quoted above. They must understand that life is a journey with many roadmaps and opportunities to grow and be enlightened.
Greta and I believe that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. We believe that we are blessed to live and seek to be in gratitude. We believe that we are to develop our spirituality and grow as a result. Thus, we seek to experience events and gather tools that are consistent with our belief to help us to live out our spiritual reality.
One such tool is Tantra. For us, Tantra is a science and a practice. Tantra sees all life as being connected. Tantra is a spiritual practice that helps to integrate our hearts, spirits and sex. Translated from Sanskrit, the word “Tantra” means to “weave” together the intricacies of life into one of balance and harmony with yourself, God and your lover and helpmate. It believes that all life is co-dependent and that what affects you affect me.
Tantra also sees the spiritual and physical connected. It is practiced in many ways just like any other spiritual/religious philosophy. One of the many reasons we practice it is because we have found it to help us understand ourselves as a person. It helped us to open our heart to self and each other.
Our Tantra practice encourages us to see each other as lover and helpmate as we embody Christian scriptures for guidance. It helped us peel away layers of hurt, pain, disappointments, and frustrations that had built up over years and has given us tools to help us as we move forward within our individual and collective spiritual journeys. It has given us additional insight to our Christian practices for spiritual growth and exercise. It helps us to see our love and marriage with spiritual lenses. It helps us grow in Oneness.
We are pleased to begin to share more about our practice and how it has blessed us to be a blessing to each other and other married couples. Our Tantra coaches, Al Link and Pala Copeland joined us on our “Sex in the Morning Show with Gary A. & GretaÔ” as we conversed about Tantra Sacred Sex and our unique experiences and methods of practicing. Included is the link to our Youtube channel. The latest episode is titled, “Tantra Sacred Sex.”
I hope you enjoy and apply some of the teachings to your life and marriage. This interview is imbedded below. Other episodes can also be found at: www.Youtube.com/SensuousSeminars1. Please subscribe to our channel!
Living in Love and Gratitude
-Rev. Dr. Gary A.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Loving, Dating & Marriage
September 2, 2010
How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves. How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant. -Song of Solomon 1:15-16
Earlier today I Googled, “How should a man treat his wife?” I was pleasantly surprised that the answer came back, that one should treat one’s wife with “respect, love, faithfulness, honesty and patience.”
Song of Solomon is a book for married couples. It is a book that encourages husband and wives to love one another. It encourages both to treat each other special. It challenges them to take delight in each other and in the pleasures that each has to offer.
Though written rather cryptically in comparison to our time, it gives great details as to how Lovers can enjoy each other. At the core of its teachings is to take time and amuse each other sensuously. Lovers are encouraged to see, taste, touch, smell and hear each other. Husbands are to rest in the bosom of their wives and wives are to open up to their husbands. Each is to give and receive compliments. Most of all they are to be present in the time they have with each other and to love each other slowly.
Men can learn a lot from this book of love and learn to slow down and be with their wives. Men can learn to talk, listen and be vulnerable with their wives. If husband and wife do as this book instructs, they will be drawn together in ONEness and their love will be nurtured and grow. In fact they will create and re-create love, over and over again.
The writer says that the bed is verdant. Verdant means lush, green and/or fertile. The bed is to be used to create, re-create and fuel intimacy. Husbands and wives not only receive permission; they are admonished to make love.
Love however starts outside of the bedroom. It starts with conversation and the free exchange of ideas and feelings. It starts with husband and wife taking the time to know each other’s hearts, dreams and aspirations. Love starts with each feeling that the other cares and desires the other. Before a husband and wife can fully enjoy the fruits of the bedroom and the enjoyment and pleasure of copulation, they must enjoy their time outside of it and before they know it the two will blend seamlessly together.
Husbands and wives must enjoy each other outside of physical contact and develop emotional intimacy. This will build the trust and desire to explore the world and each other in creative and exciting ways. Williard F. Harley, Jr suggests that husbands and wives spend at least twenty (20) hours a week with each other. This time is to be spent having fun and enjoying each other. This time is to be a priority.
Thus Great and I challenge you to do what we do and that is to have a date night, every week. We mix it up and do all sorts of things and take in the world in which we live. It keeps our time together fun and exciting and we both look forward to being with each other at this time.
I have included the link to the latest episode of “Sex in The Morning Show with Gary A. & Greta” its topic is “Sensuous Date.” I hope that you enjoy and apply some of the teachings to your relationship. It can be found at: http://www.Youtube.com/SensuousSeminars1
Eternally in Love with Greta
-Rev. Dr. Gary A.
How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves. How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant. -Song of Solomon 1:15-16
Earlier today I Googled, “How should a man treat his wife?” I was pleasantly surprised that the answer came back, that one should treat one’s wife with “respect, love, faithfulness, honesty and patience.”
Song of Solomon is a book for married couples. It is a book that encourages husband and wives to love one another. It encourages both to treat each other special. It challenges them to take delight in each other and in the pleasures that each has to offer.
Though written rather cryptically in comparison to our time, it gives great details as to how Lovers can enjoy each other. At the core of its teachings is to take time and amuse each other sensuously. Lovers are encouraged to see, taste, touch, smell and hear each other. Husbands are to rest in the bosom of their wives and wives are to open up to their husbands. Each is to give and receive compliments. Most of all they are to be present in the time they have with each other and to love each other slowly.
Men can learn a lot from this book of love and learn to slow down and be with their wives. Men can learn to talk, listen and be vulnerable with their wives. If husband and wife do as this book instructs, they will be drawn together in ONEness and their love will be nurtured and grow. In fact they will create and re-create love, over and over again.
The writer says that the bed is verdant. Verdant means lush, green and/or fertile. The bed is to be used to create, re-create and fuel intimacy. Husbands and wives not only receive permission; they are admonished to make love.
Love however starts outside of the bedroom. It starts with conversation and the free exchange of ideas and feelings. It starts with husband and wife taking the time to know each other’s hearts, dreams and aspirations. Love starts with each feeling that the other cares and desires the other. Before a husband and wife can fully enjoy the fruits of the bedroom and the enjoyment and pleasure of copulation, they must enjoy their time outside of it and before they know it the two will blend seamlessly together.
Husbands and wives must enjoy each other outside of physical contact and develop emotional intimacy. This will build the trust and desire to explore the world and each other in creative and exciting ways. Williard F. Harley, Jr suggests that husbands and wives spend at least twenty (20) hours a week with each other. This time is to be spent having fun and enjoying each other. This time is to be a priority.
Thus Great and I challenge you to do what we do and that is to have a date night, every week. We mix it up and do all sorts of things and take in the world in which we live. It keeps our time together fun and exciting and we both look forward to being with each other at this time.
I have included the link to the latest episode of “Sex in The Morning Show with Gary A. & Greta” its topic is “Sensuous Date.” I hope that you enjoy and apply some of the teachings to your relationship. It can be found at: http://www.Youtube.com/SensuousSeminars1
Eternally in Love with Greta
-Rev. Dr. Gary A.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Hugs are Great!!!
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. -Genesis 2:24-25
As part of our ongoing intent, “To Make Love.” Greta and I make a concerted effort to live and practice what we teach. We are making our marriage fun by engaging in a variety of activities. We took the scripture, which was read at our wedding over twenty-five (25) years ago seriously. We are seeking to grow and become ONE. We seek to be present in each moment. We are seeking to grab hold and hug.
Kissing, Eye-Gazing and Hugging are three activities that have come to be the tapestry of our “love-making.” I am talking about making love and not sex. Greta loves non-sexual contact. As a result, I have become more sensitive, disciplined and able to meet her emotional needs. That is not to say that I don’t have more work to do, but my work is paying off and Greta and I both feel that our intimacy is deepening.
We are becoming more affectionate and we truly enjoy each other’s company. All of this is part of us becoming “Naked” before one another. We share our thoughts and feelings with each other without fear of judgment, punishment or retribution. Yes, some couples do punish each other for not being who the other wants them to be.
As we are naked we find acceptance with and from each other. This is so refreshing, empowering, honoring and loving. It deepens our trust and strengthens our intimacy. Being conscious that we make time for each other increase our love energy. We both know that enjoying dates and time together is important to the other. We feel loved, nurtured and cherished. We are having our individual needs met and we are meeting the other’s need. It is not always easy, but it is happening more and more and more. We hug. We hug each other in love emotionally, spiritually and literally.
It is such a blessing to honor Genesis 2: 24-45. We are clinging to each other and it is wonderful. Once you put something out into the universe its seems you are challenged. Greta and I accept the challenge to live and practice what we teach. We live in partnership with each other. She has my back and I have hers. It starts with communication. Kissing, Hugging and Eye-Gazing are great deep forms of communication. We recommend that husband and wives adopt them as staples in committed relationships.
“Sex In The Morning Show with Gary A. & Greta” continues to bring more vibrancy into our lives. We are working hard to present truths and practices that will help “you” take your marriage to your desired level. It has been and it is fun and fulfilling. We continue with our “Affection Series” and we look forward to sharing our next segment, which will be dedicated to “Hugging.” It can be found at: http://www.youtube.com/Sensuousseminars1.
We know that the information we share is valuable. It keeps us in a positive and receptive frame of mind. We use it and it works. We present it to you as a testimony of our faith and practice.
We pray that you will use the information that we present to create a marriage and life of your dreams. We encourage you to do the practices that are presented to you.
Yours truly,
Gary A.
As part of our ongoing intent, “To Make Love.” Greta and I make a concerted effort to live and practice what we teach. We are making our marriage fun by engaging in a variety of activities. We took the scripture, which was read at our wedding over twenty-five (25) years ago seriously. We are seeking to grow and become ONE. We seek to be present in each moment. We are seeking to grab hold and hug.
Kissing, Eye-Gazing and Hugging are three activities that have come to be the tapestry of our “love-making.” I am talking about making love and not sex. Greta loves non-sexual contact. As a result, I have become more sensitive, disciplined and able to meet her emotional needs. That is not to say that I don’t have more work to do, but my work is paying off and Greta and I both feel that our intimacy is deepening.
We are becoming more affectionate and we truly enjoy each other’s company. All of this is part of us becoming “Naked” before one another. We share our thoughts and feelings with each other without fear of judgment, punishment or retribution. Yes, some couples do punish each other for not being who the other wants them to be.
As we are naked we find acceptance with and from each other. This is so refreshing, empowering, honoring and loving. It deepens our trust and strengthens our intimacy. Being conscious that we make time for each other increase our love energy. We both know that enjoying dates and time together is important to the other. We feel loved, nurtured and cherished. We are having our individual needs met and we are meeting the other’s need. It is not always easy, but it is happening more and more and more. We hug. We hug each other in love emotionally, spiritually and literally.
It is such a blessing to honor Genesis 2: 24-45. We are clinging to each other and it is wonderful. Once you put something out into the universe its seems you are challenged. Greta and I accept the challenge to live and practice what we teach. We live in partnership with each other. She has my back and I have hers. It starts with communication. Kissing, Hugging and Eye-Gazing are great deep forms of communication. We recommend that husband and wives adopt them as staples in committed relationships.
“Sex In The Morning Show with Gary A. & Greta” continues to bring more vibrancy into our lives. We are working hard to present truths and practices that will help “you” take your marriage to your desired level. It has been and it is fun and fulfilling. We continue with our “Affection Series” and we look forward to sharing our next segment, which will be dedicated to “Hugging.” It can be found at: http://www.youtube.com/Sensuousseminars1.
We know that the information we share is valuable. It keeps us in a positive and receptive frame of mind. We use it and it works. We present it to you as a testimony of our faith and practice.
We pray that you will use the information that we present to create a marriage and life of your dreams. We encourage you to do the practices that are presented to you.
Yours truly,
Gary A.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I am Watching You!
Weekly Thoughts
From
Rev. Dr. Gary A. Williams™
revdr@sensuousseminars.com
July 26, 2010
Why must I treat grown adults as children? Why must I as a leader be afraid of the truth? These questions cause my attention to go in that direction. I believe that our people (those from that African Diaspora) can handle the truth. Shucks, they have been dealing with them all of their lives. I’ve heard all my life that, “Truth pressed to the ground shall rise again.”
It’s time for the truth to be told and for all of us to act accordingly. Jesus told us that; "we shall know the truth and the truth shall set us free." One of my many truths is that I love marriage and I enjoy being married and I think that it is the best man known institution. After all, “Marriage” has been and is ordained of God.
Because so many people get married I believe that they love marriage also. I am concerned that so many marriages end in divorce, especially “Black Marriages.” One thing that our children need is love and consistency. They need to see husbands and wives working and building together. Much distrust is being passed down and shared in our community. Let me explain further.
The truth is being shared in Barber Shops, Beauty Parlors, Nail Salons, Churches and Grocery Store lines. Thus I ask, “Are we going backwards instead of moving forward?” I just had a conversation in the checkout line at the grocery store. The clerk said that, “men (Black Men) cannot be trusted. They must be monitored.” Greta my wife, being who she is responded, “Can you be trusted and why must you monitor a ‘Grown Man’…don’t you have something better to do with your time?”
Greta and I understand that trust for any individual begins with them in their psyche. It begins based upon their belief system and emotional state. It is based upon their experiences and especially their hurts, pains and fears. Most of us are controlled by fear. We don’t do many things because of fear. We don’t do many things because we don’t trust ourselves and as a result, we do not trust others.
I believe many marriages fail because of lack of knowledge. Scripture instructs us, “My people perish for lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6).” I am grateful for a wife that loves me, and the institution of marriage and feels that we as a loving couple are to extend ourselves and help other couples build successful marriages.
We became quite aware of being watched over the last three years, and we thought we were very non-descript and uninteresting. We found that by telling the truth and especially “OUR” truth did not make everyone happy. We also found that some will stand for truth privately but run from it publicly so as not to be in controversy for fear of losing their position or favor from those that have position and power. To say the least this was disappointing from an institution, which is to be based in the truth.
Greta and I were teasing around one morning, as we often do, and we were reminded of Slave’s song, “Watching You.” We thought that it might be fun to share another part of ourselves with the world and demonstrate that married couples can have fun while experiencing the mundane realities of life. Some things may be “run of the mill,” but you can choose to be in the moment and have fun or otherwise. Greta and I as often as we can, choose to have fun. It’s part of our ongoing intent, “To Make Love.”
Our new project, “Sex In The Morning Show with Gary A. & Greta” has and is bringing more vibrancy into our lives. It pushes us even harder to practice what we teach. It has been and it is fun and fulfilling. We continue with our “Affection Series” and we look forward to sharing our next segment, which will be dedicated to “Hugging.”
Our new promo, “I am Watching You!!!” can be found on our channel at: http://www.youtube.com/Sensuousseminars1.
We know that the information we share is valuable. It keeps us in a positive and receptive frame of mind. We use it and it works. We present it to you as a testimony of our faith and practice.
Yours truly,
Gary A.
Gary A.
From
Rev. Dr. Gary A. Williams™
revdr@sensuousseminars.com
July 26, 2010
Why must I treat grown adults as children? Why must I as a leader be afraid of the truth? These questions cause my attention to go in that direction. I believe that our people (those from that African Diaspora) can handle the truth. Shucks, they have been dealing with them all of their lives. I’ve heard all my life that, “Truth pressed to the ground shall rise again.”
It’s time for the truth to be told and for all of us to act accordingly. Jesus told us that; "we shall know the truth and the truth shall set us free." One of my many truths is that I love marriage and I enjoy being married and I think that it is the best man known institution. After all, “Marriage” has been and is ordained of God.
Because so many people get married I believe that they love marriage also. I am concerned that so many marriages end in divorce, especially “Black Marriages.” One thing that our children need is love and consistency. They need to see husbands and wives working and building together. Much distrust is being passed down and shared in our community. Let me explain further.
The truth is being shared in Barber Shops, Beauty Parlors, Nail Salons, Churches and Grocery Store lines. Thus I ask, “Are we going backwards instead of moving forward?” I just had a conversation in the checkout line at the grocery store. The clerk said that, “men (Black Men) cannot be trusted. They must be monitored.” Greta my wife, being who she is responded, “Can you be trusted and why must you monitor a ‘Grown Man’…don’t you have something better to do with your time?”
Greta and I understand that trust for any individual begins with them in their psyche. It begins based upon their belief system and emotional state. It is based upon their experiences and especially their hurts, pains and fears. Most of us are controlled by fear. We don’t do many things because of fear. We don’t do many things because we don’t trust ourselves and as a result, we do not trust others.
I believe many marriages fail because of lack of knowledge. Scripture instructs us, “My people perish for lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6).” I am grateful for a wife that loves me, and the institution of marriage and feels that we as a loving couple are to extend ourselves and help other couples build successful marriages.
We became quite aware of being watched over the last three years, and we thought we were very non-descript and uninteresting. We found that by telling the truth and especially “OUR” truth did not make everyone happy. We also found that some will stand for truth privately but run from it publicly so as not to be in controversy for fear of losing their position or favor from those that have position and power. To say the least this was disappointing from an institution, which is to be based in the truth.
Greta and I were teasing around one morning, as we often do, and we were reminded of Slave’s song, “Watching You.” We thought that it might be fun to share another part of ourselves with the world and demonstrate that married couples can have fun while experiencing the mundane realities of life. Some things may be “run of the mill,” but you can choose to be in the moment and have fun or otherwise. Greta and I as often as we can, choose to have fun. It’s part of our ongoing intent, “To Make Love.”
Our new project, “Sex In The Morning Show with Gary A. & Greta” has and is bringing more vibrancy into our lives. It pushes us even harder to practice what we teach. It has been and it is fun and fulfilling. We continue with our “Affection Series” and we look forward to sharing our next segment, which will be dedicated to “Hugging.”
Our new promo, “I am Watching You!!!” can be found on our channel at: http://www.youtube.com/Sensuousseminars1.
We know that the information we share is valuable. It keeps us in a positive and receptive frame of mind. We use it and it works. We present it to you as a testimony of our faith and practice.
Yours truly,
Gary A.
Gary A.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Eye Gazing
Rev. Dr. Gary A. Williams™
revdr@Sensuousseminars.com
July 19, 2010
This week’s thought revolves around one particular aspect of Love. The love that I am focusing on is Eros or Romantic Love. However “Philo” love (Brotherly Love) is involved because wives and husbands want to have a friend in their married partner. Wives in particular want to have their being affirmed and not feel objectified. Thus husbands and wives must work at being balanced. They must both work at being friends as well as lovers. Husbands and wives must continuously create and share love.
Falling in love is a misnomer. Love is actually created. It is intentional. It has to be created over and over between husbands and wives. This practice creates and brings “Spice back into one’s marriage”, over and over again.
I share the following poem to introduce our new “Sex In The Morning Show With Gary A. & Greta™ second episode on “Eye Gazing.” Our series is on Affection. It involves communicating through “Kissing, Eye Gazing “and there is more to come… We are intent on changing our world one marriage at a time. What we share is from our experience. They are practices that we used and use to enhance our life and marriage. Last night prior to retiring for sleep I asked Greta, "Greta, are "we" too old to be having this much fun?” She replied, “No, I would have it no other way. I am having so much fun in my marriage!"
Greta and I intend for each of these videos to provide thoughts for you to ponder and embrace for the enhancement of your marriage and/or relationship. We find that these practices provides us balance, support, fuel and a staging area for our personal and collective foundation of living in the world and allowing the spiritual principles of Love, Peace, Happy, Prosperity, Abundance, Joy, “ONEness” and Power to flow through us. In gazing in Greta’s eyes I am inspired as captured in the following prose.
I Gaze
I Gaze and become enthralled
I gaze and my heart skips
Pitter … patter
I hear my heart beat
I gaze into Greta’s Eyes
and I
Experience Heaven
Heaven in this moment
which is lasting a pleasant eternity
How good it is to be in this place
In heaven yet my feet are on the earth
In eternity yet in this here, right here,
right now
In this most wonderful perfect moment
I am in eternal heaven
No worries,
No concerns
Heeding the proclamation
“Be Happy!”
I am
I am
I am
As I gaze into your eyes
Gazing touches my Heart
and Soul Warms,
nurtures and expands my soul
As I gaze into my lover’s, my partner’s, my best friend eyes
And no one
No thing Comes between us
Interrupts our Heavenly State
We are connected and in this moment ONE!!! Ahhh this ONEness
Needless to say, I love gazing into Greta’s eyes and research bears proof that others enjoy looking into the eyes of their lover’s just as much. Eye gazing connects human souls, especially when husband and wife gaze at each other. It is one of the most intimate acts with the absence of touching.
This week’s “Weekly Thought” is really an admonishment; it is simply, “Try it.” That is “Eye Gazing.” I believe you will like it. I pray that you have a Sensuous Week.
Please view our second episode at: http://www.youtube.com/SensuousSeminars1.
Your comments are encouraged and welcome.
Yours truly, Gary A.
revdr@Sensuousseminars.com
July 19, 2010
This week’s thought revolves around one particular aspect of Love. The love that I am focusing on is Eros or Romantic Love. However “Philo” love (Brotherly Love) is involved because wives and husbands want to have a friend in their married partner. Wives in particular want to have their being affirmed and not feel objectified. Thus husbands and wives must work at being balanced. They must both work at being friends as well as lovers. Husbands and wives must continuously create and share love.
Falling in love is a misnomer. Love is actually created. It is intentional. It has to be created over and over between husbands and wives. This practice creates and brings “Spice back into one’s marriage”, over and over again.
I share the following poem to introduce our new “Sex In The Morning Show With Gary A. & Greta™ second episode on “Eye Gazing.” Our series is on Affection. It involves communicating through “Kissing, Eye Gazing “and there is more to come… We are intent on changing our world one marriage at a time. What we share is from our experience. They are practices that we used and use to enhance our life and marriage. Last night prior to retiring for sleep I asked Greta, "Greta, are "we" too old to be having this much fun?” She replied, “No, I would have it no other way. I am having so much fun in my marriage!"
Greta and I intend for each of these videos to provide thoughts for you to ponder and embrace for the enhancement of your marriage and/or relationship. We find that these practices provides us balance, support, fuel and a staging area for our personal and collective foundation of living in the world and allowing the spiritual principles of Love, Peace, Happy, Prosperity, Abundance, Joy, “ONEness” and Power to flow through us. In gazing in Greta’s eyes I am inspired as captured in the following prose.
I Gaze
I Gaze and become enthralled
I gaze and my heart skips
Pitter … patter
I hear my heart beat
I gaze into Greta’s Eyes
and I
Experience Heaven
Heaven in this moment
which is lasting a pleasant eternity
How good it is to be in this place
In heaven yet my feet are on the earth
In eternity yet in this here, right here,
right now
In this most wonderful perfect moment
I am in eternal heaven
No worries,
No concerns
Heeding the proclamation
“Be Happy!”
I am
I am
I am
As I gaze into your eyes
Gazing touches my Heart
and Soul Warms,
nurtures and expands my soul
As I gaze into my lover’s, my partner’s, my best friend eyes
And no one
No thing Comes between us
Interrupts our Heavenly State
We are connected and in this moment ONE!!! Ahhh this ONEness
Needless to say, I love gazing into Greta’s eyes and research bears proof that others enjoy looking into the eyes of their lover’s just as much. Eye gazing connects human souls, especially when husband and wife gaze at each other. It is one of the most intimate acts with the absence of touching.
This week’s “Weekly Thought” is really an admonishment; it is simply, “Try it.” That is “Eye Gazing.” I believe you will like it. I pray that you have a Sensuous Week.
Please view our second episode at: http://www.youtube.com/SensuousSeminars1.
Your comments are encouraged and welcome.
Yours truly, Gary A.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Sex In the Show Morning with Gary A. & Greta "Kissing"
This week’s thought is a Sensuous Tip©. In our goal to strengthen marriages, Greta and I not only offer you this “Sensuous Tip,” we also bring you our first episode of “Sex in the Morning Show with Gary A. & Greta. It is about "kissing."
Kissing is a fun and impacting activity that can bring a husband and wife closer together. It is an intimate act that conveys love, care and nurture. Husband and wife need to love each other. They need to touch each other physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Kissing is a sensuous way to connect for it involves all six (6) senses. Yes, Sensuous Loving involves all of the senses, taste, feel, hear, smell, seeing and intuition.
Yes, there are six senses! Since communication is a couple’s most precious tool, whether it is verbal, non-verbal, written or spoken. It is paramount that couples engage in communication to convey their love. Kissing is a wonderful and loving form of communication.
Kissing helps couples connect their heart, mind, body, soul and spirit. As a husband and wife, you have the ability to make this connection fun; however it takes work. This work need not be arduous or super time consuming. It can be fast, invigorating and exciting to the body and soul as all senses collide to offer up pleasure. Kissing is one of the activities we suggest to start you on your way to a more spice-filled marriage. A husband and wife who intentionally pursue ONEness will obtain deeper and deeper intimacy. You can begin this journey by making an agreement to “Kiss” each other before you start your day.
How you decide to “Kiss” and for how long is up to you. This should not be a chore. Kissing should be entered into with a spirit of anticipation, generosity, love, forgiveness, playfulness and mutual consent. Respect is mandatory. As husband and wife, partaking in this pleasure will enhance your love for each other and give it the chance to grow.
Enjoy our Sex in the Morning show with Gary A. & Greta Episode 1 on “Kissing” on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpBcQVNpSKg. As you seek to create intimacy in your marriage, may you and your lover have a Sensuous Day! Yours truly, Gary A.
Sex In the Morning Show with Gary A. & Greta Episode 1 "Kissing"
Kissing is a fun and impacting activity that can bring a husband and wife closer together. It is an intimate act that conveys love, care and nurture. Husband and wife need to love each other. They need to touch each other physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Kissing is a sensuous way to connect for it involves all six (6) senses. Yes, Sensuous Loving involves all of the senses, taste, feel, hear, smell, seeing and intuition.
Yes, there are six senses! Since communication is a couple’s most precious tool, whether it is verbal, non-verbal, written or spoken. It is paramount that couples engage in communication to convey their love. Kissing is a wonderful and loving form of communication.
Kissing helps couples connect their heart, mind, body, soul and spirit. As a husband and wife, you have the ability to make this connection fun; however it takes work. This work need not be arduous or super time consuming. It can be fast, invigorating and exciting to the body and soul as all senses collide to offer up pleasure. Kissing is one of the activities we suggest to start you on your way to a more spice-filled marriage. A husband and wife who intentionally pursue ONEness will obtain deeper and deeper intimacy. You can begin this journey by making an agreement to “Kiss” each other before you start your day.
How you decide to “Kiss” and for how long is up to you. This should not be a chore. Kissing should be entered into with a spirit of anticipation, generosity, love, forgiveness, playfulness and mutual consent. Respect is mandatory. As husband and wife, partaking in this pleasure will enhance your love for each other and give it the chance to grow.
Enjoy our Sex in the Morning show with Gary A. & Greta Episode 1 on “Kissing” on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpBcQVNpSKg. As you seek to create intimacy in your marriage, may you and your lover have a Sensuous Day! Yours truly, Gary A.
Sex In the Morning Show with Gary A. & Greta Episode 1 "Kissing"
Monday, July 5, 2010
"Designed to Put Spice Back Into Your Marriage"
Greta and I, are well on our way in taping, “Sex In The Morning Show with Gary A. and Greta.” Our first episode will be on “Kissing.” Our show is based on the premise that Greta and I are experts in our marriage. We want to show processes and tidbits that we have found helpful in solidifying our marriage. We continue to grow into our ONEness as a couple.
Greta and I grew concerned about marriage many years ago. We wanted to have a successful marriage but realized that we had entered it unprepared. We had no idea what to expect, where we were going or how to get there. We did know that we loved each other. We started off liking and loving each other. Love lasted but we grew in and out of “like.” We were determined to stay together and so we learned that we did not have to like everything about each other and that it was not the end of the world or our marriage if we did not see eye to eye on everything.
Over the years, we have witnessed many people taking their marriage vows and we have seen many of those same couples endure divorce. We have been blessed to teach and facilitate process on marriage and pre-marriage. We have gotten much positive feedback on our efforts and feel compelled to continue in this work. Thus, through Sex in The Morning Show with Gary A. & Greta, we want to highlight the positive aspects of marriage. Marriage can be so much fun if you intend it.
We believe you get out of life what you put into it and that you can chose that outcome of many ventures you undertake. Thus, you can make marriage what you want. My dad always told me that it takes two (2) to make a marriage work, he taught me to love, respect and cherish my wife, not only in word but also in deed. Without a shadow of a doubt my dad loved my mom and so that is the example, prejudice and passion, I bring to my marriage. My mom loved my dad and showed it in many awesome ways. In their seventies (70’s) they were loving and affectionate until illness entered their life experience. And despite their memory loss you could feel their love whenever they were in a room together.
Greta and I took their advice seriously and whenever we left their presence my mom would implore us to “Be Good To Each Other.” We promised we would and we intend to continue to keep this promise. Our work comes from twenty-five (25) years of working at our marriage and more than ten (10) years of intensive study and intentional practice. We share it in the vehicle of today using relevant technology.
We want there to be a positive voice for marriage in the universe. We are concerned that we hear so much negativity about marriage, especially from comedians. Marriage is a beautiful institution. You only need to love your wife or husband as you love yourself. We need only treat them as you love yourself. You need to cherish your partner and not be afraid to be vulnerable to and with them. Yes, these are simple words and simple advice. At times, we have found it to be difficult to follow and practice. "Sex In The Morning Show with Gary A. & Greta", will remind you of the basics and the simple things you can do to keep and or put spice into your marriage. It promises to be engaging, entertaining and educational.
We hope you will support us in this new venture and share this good and great effort with someone else. You can view our episodes on Youtube at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W5cZeBv0_0 and Facebook at Gary A. Williams. Spread the news that “Marriage is Good” and "Sex in the Morning Show with Gary A. and Greta" is a wonderful illustration of it.
Have a Sensuous Day!
Yours truly,
Gary A.
Please check out Greta's Sensuous Talks Video below.
Greta and I grew concerned about marriage many years ago. We wanted to have a successful marriage but realized that we had entered it unprepared. We had no idea what to expect, where we were going or how to get there. We did know that we loved each other. We started off liking and loving each other. Love lasted but we grew in and out of “like.” We were determined to stay together and so we learned that we did not have to like everything about each other and that it was not the end of the world or our marriage if we did not see eye to eye on everything.
Over the years, we have witnessed many people taking their marriage vows and we have seen many of those same couples endure divorce. We have been blessed to teach and facilitate process on marriage and pre-marriage. We have gotten much positive feedback on our efforts and feel compelled to continue in this work. Thus, through Sex in The Morning Show with Gary A. & Greta, we want to highlight the positive aspects of marriage. Marriage can be so much fun if you intend it.
We believe you get out of life what you put into it and that you can chose that outcome of many ventures you undertake. Thus, you can make marriage what you want. My dad always told me that it takes two (2) to make a marriage work, he taught me to love, respect and cherish my wife, not only in word but also in deed. Without a shadow of a doubt my dad loved my mom and so that is the example, prejudice and passion, I bring to my marriage. My mom loved my dad and showed it in many awesome ways. In their seventies (70’s) they were loving and affectionate until illness entered their life experience. And despite their memory loss you could feel their love whenever they were in a room together.
Greta and I took their advice seriously and whenever we left their presence my mom would implore us to “Be Good To Each Other.” We promised we would and we intend to continue to keep this promise. Our work comes from twenty-five (25) years of working at our marriage and more than ten (10) years of intensive study and intentional practice. We share it in the vehicle of today using relevant technology.
We want there to be a positive voice for marriage in the universe. We are concerned that we hear so much negativity about marriage, especially from comedians. Marriage is a beautiful institution. You only need to love your wife or husband as you love yourself. We need only treat them as you love yourself. You need to cherish your partner and not be afraid to be vulnerable to and with them. Yes, these are simple words and simple advice. At times, we have found it to be difficult to follow and practice. "Sex In The Morning Show with Gary A. & Greta", will remind you of the basics and the simple things you can do to keep and or put spice into your marriage. It promises to be engaging, entertaining and educational.
We hope you will support us in this new venture and share this good and great effort with someone else. You can view our episodes on Youtube at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W5cZeBv0_0 and Facebook at Gary A. Williams. Spread the news that “Marriage is Good” and "Sex in the Morning Show with Gary A. and Greta" is a wonderful illustration of it.
Have a Sensuous Day!
Yours truly,
Gary A.
Please check out Greta's Sensuous Talks Video below.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Sex In The Morning Show with Gary A. & Greta
It has been long awaited and an uphill journey as Greta and I set out to help improve marriages. We simply wanted to create a more marriage positive environment in our corner of influence. We wanted to help people who wanted to help themselves and we wanted to improve bad marriages and relationships and we wanted to help make good marriages better.
Because we wanted to work together as we both fulfilled our personal mission, “to help somebody as we travel along,” we decided to do it through a new vehicle, Sensuous Seminars, LLC. We did not expect such opposition to our desire to offer a different perspective. Having experienced growth individually and collectively in our marriage we have faced and worked through many challenges. We have been willing to be honest about our experience in order to help others.
What we have gone through has pressed us closer together. It has also been a laboratory for us to apply the values, tactics and beliefs to which we subscribed. It has allowed me to grow up and see the reality of the pain that so many of my brothers and sisters live with daily.
As in all things, we can choose to be a victim or an active participant who can use our personal power to determine outcomes. Marriage is a wonderful institution. Husbands and wives can enjoy it and have the time of their life because of it if they choose to do so. “Sex In The Morning with Gary A. and Greta” shares effective tools that married couples can employ to improve their marriage.
We share tools that help us enjoy, pleasure, fun and adventure in our marriage. It is one of our life’s passions. You can check out our promo on You Tube, Facebook, my blog, Gary’s Sensuous Talks at www.sensuousgarya.blogspot.com or Greta’s at www.SensuoussexyGreta.com
Help us get the job done. Let’s change society, let’s fill it will love by changing one marriage at a time. As always we solicit participation. Please tell a friend about our work. Now have a Sensuous Day! This is the beginning…
Yours truly,
Gary A.
Because we wanted to work together as we both fulfilled our personal mission, “to help somebody as we travel along,” we decided to do it through a new vehicle, Sensuous Seminars, LLC. We did not expect such opposition to our desire to offer a different perspective. Having experienced growth individually and collectively in our marriage we have faced and worked through many challenges. We have been willing to be honest about our experience in order to help others.
What we have gone through has pressed us closer together. It has also been a laboratory for us to apply the values, tactics and beliefs to which we subscribed. It has allowed me to grow up and see the reality of the pain that so many of my brothers and sisters live with daily.
As in all things, we can choose to be a victim or an active participant who can use our personal power to determine outcomes. Marriage is a wonderful institution. Husbands and wives can enjoy it and have the time of their life because of it if they choose to do so. “Sex In The Morning with Gary A. and Greta” shares effective tools that married couples can employ to improve their marriage.
We share tools that help us enjoy, pleasure, fun and adventure in our marriage. It is one of our life’s passions. You can check out our promo on You Tube, Facebook, my blog, Gary’s Sensuous Talks at www.sensuousgarya.blogspot.com or Greta’s at www.SensuoussexyGreta.com
Help us get the job done. Let’s change society, let’s fill it will love by changing one marriage at a time. As always we solicit participation. Please tell a friend about our work. Now have a Sensuous Day! This is the beginning…
Yours truly,
Gary A.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Faith and Freedom
I have discovered that “Faith and Freedom” are ingredients for a fresh and exciting relationship. Lately Greta and I have been talking about faith and freedom. It is wonderful to have a life partner with whom I can discuss and debate the heavier issues of life, and not take differences of opinion personal. In fact our differences add flavor and brings out the best in each of us.
After we jumped out of a plane Greta began to sing, “Freedom, Freedom, Freedom.” She reported that she felt free. These words and this sentiment hold a permanent place in my memory.
As I think back on my time in the air, prior to, during and after jumping out of an airplane, I can say that I did experience freedom. It was challenging and required a lot of spiritual effort but I did experience freedom in a real, impacting and maturing way.
I had let go, I truly had to depend upon God and upon those that God had placed behind the scenes for such a time as that. You see I had to place trust in the driver that took us to the airfield and jump site. I had to trust the pilot, the maintenance person of the aircraft, the air traffic controller, and the instructor who I had just met (who had told me that parachuting gave him the substance he needed to stop doing drugs). He told me that and I still jumped out of a plane with him strapped to my back! Most of all I had to trust the person who had packed the parachute.
Many of the people I depended upon in this moment of adventure, I had never met. Nor will I ever meet. Yet, I depended upon them. It was freeing to know that God had allowed them to perform in such a way that I would be “safe” jumping out of an airplane. This dependency upon God was “freeing.” I was free of self-judgment and independence. I was free of trying to control and determine outcome. My abilities and responsibilities were limited yet I experienced “Freedom” as I never had. I applied faith as never before
All I could do was what I was instructed to do with enthusiasm and accuracy, the rest was left up to others. I had to trust that God was able to control the factors that I could not. I am pleased to be able to write at this moment and say that, I am grateful that God controlled all of the forces that affected my well being.
My letting go and letting God was relieving and revealing. Revealing in that in letting go, I was relieved of any performance anxiety and fear. This freed my thinking and my spirit while bringing relief to my body. All I did was follow the instructions.
As I was falling through the air, the view was breath taking as I could see the elliptical shape of the earth. When I first jumped it was very cold however in a matter of seconds the temperature raised. As we turned and flipped and moved from side to side and the wind blew, how big and minuscule I felt at the same time. I recalled that God had God’s eye on me. God knew how many hairs were upon my head. God knew that I had just jumped out of a flight worthy airplane. Most importantly God had God’s eye on me at that moment. I had really applied faith, and it felt wonderful.
Since this experience I have been trying to figure out how to apply faith in other areas. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength,” has long been my motto. I have called upon this spiritual knowledge for years. However this time it took on more meaning, God had preserved my life as I had pushed my personal envelope regarding adventure.
Greta and I love adventure. We love to be adventurous and this is one of the many ways we keep our relationship fresh and exciting. It is also one of the ways we stretch our faith. New experiences and the desire to experience new places, things, people and activities keep us living in expectancy while savoring each moment.
“Faith and Freedom” is being applied as we share our lives with other couples and strengthen marriages. Good marriages produce good children; good citizens and more fully balanced spiritual offspring. This is how Greta and I live. This is how we contribute to the world. This is how we fulfill our destiny. We live in freedom and faith and we thank God for the awareness and enlightenment!
In Freedom and Faithfulness …
-Rev. Dr. Gary A. Williams
After we jumped out of a plane Greta began to sing, “Freedom, Freedom, Freedom.” She reported that she felt free. These words and this sentiment hold a permanent place in my memory.
As I think back on my time in the air, prior to, during and after jumping out of an airplane, I can say that I did experience freedom. It was challenging and required a lot of spiritual effort but I did experience freedom in a real, impacting and maturing way.
I had let go, I truly had to depend upon God and upon those that God had placed behind the scenes for such a time as that. You see I had to place trust in the driver that took us to the airfield and jump site. I had to trust the pilot, the maintenance person of the aircraft, the air traffic controller, and the instructor who I had just met (who had told me that parachuting gave him the substance he needed to stop doing drugs). He told me that and I still jumped out of a plane with him strapped to my back! Most of all I had to trust the person who had packed the parachute.
Many of the people I depended upon in this moment of adventure, I had never met. Nor will I ever meet. Yet, I depended upon them. It was freeing to know that God had allowed them to perform in such a way that I would be “safe” jumping out of an airplane. This dependency upon God was “freeing.” I was free of self-judgment and independence. I was free of trying to control and determine outcome. My abilities and responsibilities were limited yet I experienced “Freedom” as I never had. I applied faith as never before
All I could do was what I was instructed to do with enthusiasm and accuracy, the rest was left up to others. I had to trust that God was able to control the factors that I could not. I am pleased to be able to write at this moment and say that, I am grateful that God controlled all of the forces that affected my well being.
My letting go and letting God was relieving and revealing. Revealing in that in letting go, I was relieved of any performance anxiety and fear. This freed my thinking and my spirit while bringing relief to my body. All I did was follow the instructions.
As I was falling through the air, the view was breath taking as I could see the elliptical shape of the earth. When I first jumped it was very cold however in a matter of seconds the temperature raised. As we turned and flipped and moved from side to side and the wind blew, how big and minuscule I felt at the same time. I recalled that God had God’s eye on me. God knew how many hairs were upon my head. God knew that I had just jumped out of a flight worthy airplane. Most importantly God had God’s eye on me at that moment. I had really applied faith, and it felt wonderful.
Since this experience I have been trying to figure out how to apply faith in other areas. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength,” has long been my motto. I have called upon this spiritual knowledge for years. However this time it took on more meaning, God had preserved my life as I had pushed my personal envelope regarding adventure.
Greta and I love adventure. We love to be adventurous and this is one of the many ways we keep our relationship fresh and exciting. It is also one of the ways we stretch our faith. New experiences and the desire to experience new places, things, people and activities keep us living in expectancy while savoring each moment.
“Faith and Freedom” is being applied as we share our lives with other couples and strengthen marriages. Good marriages produce good children; good citizens and more fully balanced spiritual offspring. This is how Greta and I live. This is how we contribute to the world. This is how we fulfill our destiny. We live in freedom and faith and we thank God for the awareness and enlightenment!
In Freedom and Faithfulness …
-Rev. Dr. Gary A. Williams
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Sex, A Matter of Spirit
Sexuality has often been divorced from spirituality. Greta and I have discovered that sexuality is an extension of our spirituality. In fact they have become interdependent upon each other. We believe that sex is spiritual.
Our sexuality is an expression of our spirituality. In our lovemaking our spirits connect as we share the pleasures of each other. Most times there is a blending of our pleasure and Greta’s pleasure becomes mine and mine becomes hers. We have learned to invite God into our lovemaking and we pray, before, after and during. No we are not being sacrilegious, rather we are being holy. God gave husband and wife to each other for their mutual benefit and pleasure.
Sex is definitely one of the gifts to be shared between husband and wife. Unfortunately it is one of the most misunderstood privileges, rights, and responsibilities of marriage. In most cases husbands and wives have little or no information on the spirituality of sexuality. They do not know that this area of their relationship needs to be nurtured.
Sex is holy. Our spiritual consciousness is heightened through lovemaking. We enact it as a form of worship. We are not afraid to transcend as we value our sexuality as a gift. We look forward to sharing that gift with each other. Our lovemaking is a culmination of the meeting of our hearts, minds, and emotions. It is a celebration as we communicate physically and spiritually while showing gratitude to our creator for the privilege.
Yet lovemaking or sex is not always physical. In fact we know most of our sexual activity to occur outside of the bedroom and without physical contact. It is the emotional contact and emotional transference of love that excites and fuels us. These activities allow us to connect spiritual level as we open our spirits up to each other and are able to communicate without spoken words or physical touch.
Meditation, energy work and reciting mantras are a part of spiritual practice and lovemaking. We see our sexuality and spirituality as mutually interdependent and enriching as we connect to each other, God, the universe and ourselves.
Truly sex, is a matter of faith!
Our sexuality is an expression of our spirituality. In our lovemaking our spirits connect as we share the pleasures of each other. Most times there is a blending of our pleasure and Greta’s pleasure becomes mine and mine becomes hers. We have learned to invite God into our lovemaking and we pray, before, after and during. No we are not being sacrilegious, rather we are being holy. God gave husband and wife to each other for their mutual benefit and pleasure.
Sex is definitely one of the gifts to be shared between husband and wife. Unfortunately it is one of the most misunderstood privileges, rights, and responsibilities of marriage. In most cases husbands and wives have little or no information on the spirituality of sexuality. They do not know that this area of their relationship needs to be nurtured.
Sex is holy. Our spiritual consciousness is heightened through lovemaking. We enact it as a form of worship. We are not afraid to transcend as we value our sexuality as a gift. We look forward to sharing that gift with each other. Our lovemaking is a culmination of the meeting of our hearts, minds, and emotions. It is a celebration as we communicate physically and spiritually while showing gratitude to our creator for the privilege.
Yet lovemaking or sex is not always physical. In fact we know most of our sexual activity to occur outside of the bedroom and without physical contact. It is the emotional contact and emotional transference of love that excites and fuels us. These activities allow us to connect spiritual level as we open our spirits up to each other and are able to communicate without spoken words or physical touch.
Meditation, energy work and reciting mantras are a part of spiritual practice and lovemaking. We see our sexuality and spirituality as mutually interdependent and enriching as we connect to each other, God, the universe and ourselves.
Truly sex, is a matter of faith!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
I Sit and Wonder
Weekly Thoughts
From
Rev. Dr. Gary A. Williams™
www.revgawmsn@hotmail.com
April 27, 2010
Recently, I began working with young people again. As I interact with them on a daily basis, I have an opportunity to talk and listen. I have an opportunity to teach and learn.
I have become more aware that we are living in the time of a new youth culture. They are faster and more advanced in many areas than we were when we were their age. They have access to more information and the ability to get it quicker. They are technologically advanced. They text, chat, e-mail and twitter effectively. Yet they are still developing.
They have grown-up problems with only the ability to process their emotions from a child’s perspective. They don’t have the emotional strength or have the emotional experience to process the adult decisions that they often make. They need guidance and help. Yet they do not like to be told what to do, how little changes as one ages.
However, young people do appreciate being shown and having adults model desired behavior. If one doesn’t establish an authentic relationship wherein personhood is respected and shared one looses the ability to be the type of adult influence that our children so desperately needs. When children don’t have positive adult influences in their lives they become bitter and/or incorrigible adults. Perhaps you’ve met one or two. As I reflected on the following scripture, the Poem below arose from my spirit.
“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart.” -Proverbs 22:6
I sit and wonder
I sit and wonder
What is up?
What has my generation been up to?
How have we made this world a better place?
For my sons, grandchildren and great grandchildren
Though I have yet to have grandchildren
I wonder how will they navigate though life
Have I instilled values that will make them humane respectful
Loving and kind
Will they have the tools to make it in life without harming their fellow human?
Will they be sexist?
Will they fall for the ism that seek to restrain and define them?
Those things that seek to confine their spirits
Or will they be free and live free
Not out of defiance but because I and my beloved partner have impressed
Upon them the truth
The truth that they are free
They have choices and that they have the right and the ability to make choices
To live by their choices and to thrive because of their choices
Not someone else’s but their own
According to their skills, passions and abilities
My desire is for my children and offspring is for them to know without reservation or interference that free spirits cannot be contained.
From
Rev. Dr. Gary A. Williams™
www.revgawmsn@hotmail.com
April 27, 2010
Recently, I began working with young people again. As I interact with them on a daily basis, I have an opportunity to talk and listen. I have an opportunity to teach and learn.
I have become more aware that we are living in the time of a new youth culture. They are faster and more advanced in many areas than we were when we were their age. They have access to more information and the ability to get it quicker. They are technologically advanced. They text, chat, e-mail and twitter effectively. Yet they are still developing.
They have grown-up problems with only the ability to process their emotions from a child’s perspective. They don’t have the emotional strength or have the emotional experience to process the adult decisions that they often make. They need guidance and help. Yet they do not like to be told what to do, how little changes as one ages.
However, young people do appreciate being shown and having adults model desired behavior. If one doesn’t establish an authentic relationship wherein personhood is respected and shared one looses the ability to be the type of adult influence that our children so desperately needs. When children don’t have positive adult influences in their lives they become bitter and/or incorrigible adults. Perhaps you’ve met one or two. As I reflected on the following scripture, the Poem below arose from my spirit.
“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart.” -Proverbs 22:6
I sit and wonder
I sit and wonder
What is up?
What has my generation been up to?
How have we made this world a better place?
For my sons, grandchildren and great grandchildren
Though I have yet to have grandchildren
I wonder how will they navigate though life
Have I instilled values that will make them humane respectful
Loving and kind
Will they have the tools to make it in life without harming their fellow human?
Will they be sexist?
Will they fall for the ism that seek to restrain and define them?
Those things that seek to confine their spirits
Or will they be free and live free
Not out of defiance but because I and my beloved partner have impressed
Upon them the truth
The truth that they are free
They have choices and that they have the right and the ability to make choices
To live by their choices and to thrive because of their choices
Not someone else’s but their own
According to their skills, passions and abilities
My desire is for my children and offspring is for them to know without reservation or interference that free spirits cannot be contained.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
He is Risen!
And he saith unto them, Be not affrighted: Ye seek Jesus of Nazareth, which was crucified: he is risen; he is not here: behold the place where they laid him. (KJV)– Mark 16:6
“He is Risen”
Each year I am blessed to learn more about “The Resurrection.” I can truly say, “He is risen indeed,” these first forty days after we have celebrated Christ’s Resurrection. It is difficult to see when you are in the middle of a storm. What may be a storm for you may not be a storm for another.
Those things that challenge you and weigh heavy upon your psyche and soul may not cause anyone else to give it a second thought. It is not until you personally are in a storm that you need to have your faith resurrected. It is not until you’ve prayed and bargained and lamented and sought to hold on to God’s unchanging hand and ignored all of the negative self talk, that you personally encounter ”The Resurrection.”
Those that believe in Christ is on a faith journey, a journey to hang out with Christ through thick and thin. It is not a matter of whether Christ will hang with you but rather if you will hang with Christ. It is easy to hang with Christ when all is going well. It is more difficult to hang when things are personally bad for you.
I was taught that when things are going well with you, you are being blessed, so consequently when things are going bad for you, you are being punished or damned. I realized that in the midst of my storm I had forgotten or chose to ignore the reality that rain falls upon the just and the unjust. I also forgot that we need rain for growth. I am reminded of a song that shares, “If I never had a problem, I wouldn’t know that God would solve them.” I believe that these statements are true, I have learned through my own resurrection that it is up to me to continue to believe and to continue to move forward despite obstacles, disappointment and setbacks.
I have learned that sometimes we need to slow down to gain new perspectives and to consider other options. I’ve learned that it is easy to look at negativity and much harder to really count our blessings. How often I have shared that if you can take a breath, walk up a flight of stairs, if you know your name, you are truly blessed. Being blessed has nothing to do with possessions; it has everything to do with who you love and who loves you back. I have been resurrected through those who I love and who truly love me. I am grateful for it is their love that resurrected me. So I too, like Jesus have been resurrected and I too have received the gospel; it “is the power of God for salvation to everyone who has faith" (Romans 1:16). Thus without a shadow of a doubt I can say, “He is Risen.” You ask me “how I know?” It is because, He is risen in me!
“Living in the Power of the Resurrection”
-Rev. Dr. Gary A. Williams
“He is Risen”
Each year I am blessed to learn more about “The Resurrection.” I can truly say, “He is risen indeed,” these first forty days after we have celebrated Christ’s Resurrection. It is difficult to see when you are in the middle of a storm. What may be a storm for you may not be a storm for another.
Those things that challenge you and weigh heavy upon your psyche and soul may not cause anyone else to give it a second thought. It is not until you personally are in a storm that you need to have your faith resurrected. It is not until you’ve prayed and bargained and lamented and sought to hold on to God’s unchanging hand and ignored all of the negative self talk, that you personally encounter ”The Resurrection.”
Those that believe in Christ is on a faith journey, a journey to hang out with Christ through thick and thin. It is not a matter of whether Christ will hang with you but rather if you will hang with Christ. It is easy to hang with Christ when all is going well. It is more difficult to hang when things are personally bad for you.
I was taught that when things are going well with you, you are being blessed, so consequently when things are going bad for you, you are being punished or damned. I realized that in the midst of my storm I had forgotten or chose to ignore the reality that rain falls upon the just and the unjust. I also forgot that we need rain for growth. I am reminded of a song that shares, “If I never had a problem, I wouldn’t know that God would solve them.” I believe that these statements are true, I have learned through my own resurrection that it is up to me to continue to believe and to continue to move forward despite obstacles, disappointment and setbacks.
I have learned that sometimes we need to slow down to gain new perspectives and to consider other options. I’ve learned that it is easy to look at negativity and much harder to really count our blessings. How often I have shared that if you can take a breath, walk up a flight of stairs, if you know your name, you are truly blessed. Being blessed has nothing to do with possessions; it has everything to do with who you love and who loves you back. I have been resurrected through those who I love and who truly love me. I am grateful for it is their love that resurrected me. So I too, like Jesus have been resurrected and I too have received the gospel; it “is the power of God for salvation to everyone who has faith" (Romans 1:16). Thus without a shadow of a doubt I can say, “He is Risen.” You ask me “how I know?” It is because, He is risen in me!
“Living in the Power of the Resurrection”
-Rev. Dr. Gary A. Williams
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
On Marriage
Greta and I went to a business trade show a couple of weekends ago. I had many conversations about marriage. There are so many points of views. I promised to share on my experience.
As we presented our approach to Marriage Enhancement, we experienced the thoughts of many people. We encountered bachelors, single people, begrudged monogamous couples and persons pledging never ever ever to get married again.
Not many people had anything positive to say about marriage. How disappointing. I love my marriage. I love the person, Greta, to whom I am married. I wish that everyone could receive the joy that I experience in my relationship to by friend, companion, partner, lover and truly helpmate. She is the queen of my soul, my motivation, inspiration, the mother of my children and truly my soul mate. I thank God for her.
This weekend affirmed and confirmed the work we are doing and our need to do it. So many men do not have a clue that their marriage is in trouble or at least they pretend that they don’t. They think that they are pleasing their wives when in fact they aren’t. If they could only remove their ego, stop being defensive and listen to their wife, they could be on the road to a move bountiful and blessed relationship with their wife.
Greta has shared, in previous writings, that she attempted to communicate her needs to me over the years, but when she did I either blew her off or responded in a defensive manner. As a result, she slowly began to shut down. It was not until she asked me for a divorce when I realized that I needed to change my behavior and that I needed to be more effective in conveying my love to my wife, helpmate and mother to my sons. I have listened and counseled many couples over the years. It has been my experience that couples need only stop and listen to each other as they give each other the benefit of the doubt and allow the other to speak honestly and openly from the heart. This means not getting defensive or judgmental.
It is important to keep in mind during heart conversations that you love your wife and that your wife loves you. It is important to remember that you were drawn together. It is important to know that it might hurt now, but as you have gotten through things in the past, you will get through them now. One of the many spiritual principles that Greta and I employ are the “Four Agreements” as presented by Miguel Ruiz in his book of the same name:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally.
3. Don't Make Assumptions.
4. Always Do Your Best.
We apply these spiritual truths as we seek to understand each other. Another often overlooked reality is that neither Greta nor I have the ability to read each other’s mind. Thus we ask questions regarding the other person’s behavior, feelings and thoughts. This causes us to risk ourselves and share our truths with each other. It causes us to listen without judgment and with patience. It causes us to partner and help each other experience happiness. It causes us to set goals, make plans and move in the agreed upon direction.
Too many couples are living separate lives in the houses they share and are not making their houses their home. Home is where the heart is, it is characterized by intimacy, love and all the fuzzy feelings that go along with it. Too many people disclosed that they do not communicate with their spouses and they are often traveling in two different directions. They view marriage as a chore and not as a pleasurable adventure. They lack fun, passion and spontaneous activity. Too many people were willing to share this type of information with Greta and me, but not with their own spouses with whom they have invested so much of their lives.
Many find themselves in a rut longing to get out, not knowing how. I was saddened as one person we encountered spoke of undergoing a divorce after twenty (20) years of marriage. My soul shakes as I remember the anger, hurt and disappointment he relived as he shared his ordeal with us. One brother shared with me that he didn’t need to read a book or need any help about marriage after being married close to twenty-five (25) years, while his wife shared with Greta how she was experiencing difficulty in her marriage. Based on the different conversations, it was as if they were not married to each other.
I was a bit amused by one gentleman who argued that it was unnatural for a man to have only one wife. He pointed to Africa and other cultures that practiced polygamy and after some verbal jousting; I was finally able to ask him how many wives he thought he should have? He replied, three. I asked him what was stopping him. It seems that beside it being illegal, his girlfriend wouldn’t allow it. I admitted to him that I could only handle Greta. She requires my undivided attention and affection.
Women too, lamented about marriage. They complained about dishonest, cheating, inconsiderate mates as did men. Everyone with whom I spoke focused on the physical aspect of marriage and considered sex, lack of or bad sex should be the topic of our conversation. Only a few understood that intimacy forged through open and honest communication was an attribute upon which a fulfilling marriage stands.
Good marriages are built on commitment, hard work and love. Good loving healthy marriages are possible and necessary. I recently talked with a single male in his early 30’s. In our conversation, he shared that if choosing a wife was like choosing clothes, he would have long been married. I took the bait and asked him to explain. He said that with clothes you can take them home, try them on, and if they don’t fit you can take them back. Though they shouldn’t, I believe that perhaps some people treat marriage this way, since well over half of all marriages end in divorce. Yet good marriages are desired and can be planned and lived out.
This also gave me insight into thoughts about marriage. Perhaps we think that we can custom order our marriage counter part and she/he will arrive with the specifications we request. People are not constructed in that manner and thus we must realize that it is we who construct ourselves and in so doing we have the ability to construct our marriage in the fashion we visualize. We must take responsibility for the power that we have to shape and fashion our own reality, which include our marriage relationship.
Greta and I treat our marriage as a spiritual practice. We live the spiritual principles we espouse. We look at how we can heal ourselves and work towards our own happiness as we journey together. We share openly and honestly, we love mutually and we respond in patience and love.
We believe these principles will help any couple be successful in marriage. We believe that too many people enter marriage ill- prepared and without common understandings, goals and expectations. Though most people enter marriage because they are in love and want to be with the person they marry forever, they fail to understand that they must work at making their relationship last and that they must re-create the love they experience over and over. Thus, they must make love on a continuous basis. Treating one’s marriage as a spiritual practice will build the foundation for love to be made over and over again.
Marriage is a dynamic organism; it lives and breathes rises and falls. It has it own ebb and flow as life. Thus it does not have to be boring. It can be a fun and joyous journey; these are just a few of my thoughts “On Marriage.” Thus I have decided that I am challenging Greta and me to share our message with fifty (50) married and fifty (50) engaged couple by the end of 2010. Please let us know if you are willing to help us prepare others, save and improve marriages as we follow God’s leading.
As we presented our approach to Marriage Enhancement, we experienced the thoughts of many people. We encountered bachelors, single people, begrudged monogamous couples and persons pledging never ever ever to get married again.
Not many people had anything positive to say about marriage. How disappointing. I love my marriage. I love the person, Greta, to whom I am married. I wish that everyone could receive the joy that I experience in my relationship to by friend, companion, partner, lover and truly helpmate. She is the queen of my soul, my motivation, inspiration, the mother of my children and truly my soul mate. I thank God for her.
This weekend affirmed and confirmed the work we are doing and our need to do it. So many men do not have a clue that their marriage is in trouble or at least they pretend that they don’t. They think that they are pleasing their wives when in fact they aren’t. If they could only remove their ego, stop being defensive and listen to their wife, they could be on the road to a move bountiful and blessed relationship with their wife.
Greta has shared, in previous writings, that she attempted to communicate her needs to me over the years, but when she did I either blew her off or responded in a defensive manner. As a result, she slowly began to shut down. It was not until she asked me for a divorce when I realized that I needed to change my behavior and that I needed to be more effective in conveying my love to my wife, helpmate and mother to my sons. I have listened and counseled many couples over the years. It has been my experience that couples need only stop and listen to each other as they give each other the benefit of the doubt and allow the other to speak honestly and openly from the heart. This means not getting defensive or judgmental.
It is important to keep in mind during heart conversations that you love your wife and that your wife loves you. It is important to remember that you were drawn together. It is important to know that it might hurt now, but as you have gotten through things in the past, you will get through them now. One of the many spiritual principles that Greta and I employ are the “Four Agreements” as presented by Miguel Ruiz in his book of the same name:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally.
3. Don't Make Assumptions.
4. Always Do Your Best.
We apply these spiritual truths as we seek to understand each other. Another often overlooked reality is that neither Greta nor I have the ability to read each other’s mind. Thus we ask questions regarding the other person’s behavior, feelings and thoughts. This causes us to risk ourselves and share our truths with each other. It causes us to listen without judgment and with patience. It causes us to partner and help each other experience happiness. It causes us to set goals, make plans and move in the agreed upon direction.
Too many couples are living separate lives in the houses they share and are not making their houses their home. Home is where the heart is, it is characterized by intimacy, love and all the fuzzy feelings that go along with it. Too many people disclosed that they do not communicate with their spouses and they are often traveling in two different directions. They view marriage as a chore and not as a pleasurable adventure. They lack fun, passion and spontaneous activity. Too many people were willing to share this type of information with Greta and me, but not with their own spouses with whom they have invested so much of their lives.
Many find themselves in a rut longing to get out, not knowing how. I was saddened as one person we encountered spoke of undergoing a divorce after twenty (20) years of marriage. My soul shakes as I remember the anger, hurt and disappointment he relived as he shared his ordeal with us. One brother shared with me that he didn’t need to read a book or need any help about marriage after being married close to twenty-five (25) years, while his wife shared with Greta how she was experiencing difficulty in her marriage. Based on the different conversations, it was as if they were not married to each other.
I was a bit amused by one gentleman who argued that it was unnatural for a man to have only one wife. He pointed to Africa and other cultures that practiced polygamy and after some verbal jousting; I was finally able to ask him how many wives he thought he should have? He replied, three. I asked him what was stopping him. It seems that beside it being illegal, his girlfriend wouldn’t allow it. I admitted to him that I could only handle Greta. She requires my undivided attention and affection.
Women too, lamented about marriage. They complained about dishonest, cheating, inconsiderate mates as did men. Everyone with whom I spoke focused on the physical aspect of marriage and considered sex, lack of or bad sex should be the topic of our conversation. Only a few understood that intimacy forged through open and honest communication was an attribute upon which a fulfilling marriage stands.
Good marriages are built on commitment, hard work and love. Good loving healthy marriages are possible and necessary. I recently talked with a single male in his early 30’s. In our conversation, he shared that if choosing a wife was like choosing clothes, he would have long been married. I took the bait and asked him to explain. He said that with clothes you can take them home, try them on, and if they don’t fit you can take them back. Though they shouldn’t, I believe that perhaps some people treat marriage this way, since well over half of all marriages end in divorce. Yet good marriages are desired and can be planned and lived out.
This also gave me insight into thoughts about marriage. Perhaps we think that we can custom order our marriage counter part and she/he will arrive with the specifications we request. People are not constructed in that manner and thus we must realize that it is we who construct ourselves and in so doing we have the ability to construct our marriage in the fashion we visualize. We must take responsibility for the power that we have to shape and fashion our own reality, which include our marriage relationship.
Greta and I treat our marriage as a spiritual practice. We live the spiritual principles we espouse. We look at how we can heal ourselves and work towards our own happiness as we journey together. We share openly and honestly, we love mutually and we respond in patience and love.
We believe these principles will help any couple be successful in marriage. We believe that too many people enter marriage ill- prepared and without common understandings, goals and expectations. Though most people enter marriage because they are in love and want to be with the person they marry forever, they fail to understand that they must work at making their relationship last and that they must re-create the love they experience over and over. Thus, they must make love on a continuous basis. Treating one’s marriage as a spiritual practice will build the foundation for love to be made over and over again.
Marriage is a dynamic organism; it lives and breathes rises and falls. It has it own ebb and flow as life. Thus it does not have to be boring. It can be a fun and joyous journey; these are just a few of my thoughts “On Marriage.” Thus I have decided that I am challenging Greta and me to share our message with fifty (50) married and fifty (50) engaged couple by the end of 2010. Please let us know if you are willing to help us prepare others, save and improve marriages as we follow God’s leading.
Friday, February 26, 2010
“After The Confession”
February 26, 2010
After last week’s confession I had to rest. Interestingly, I’ve finished reading and started re-reading a Manuel on Anger Management by Richard Pfieffer as well as a book entitled “Seven: The Number For Happiness, Love and Success” by Jacqueline Leo.” They are both quite interesting and informative and give great techniques for managing anger (which by the way is a human emotion that adds depth and breathe to the human experience). Seven in particular shares many pearls of wisdom that can help one better understand life and themselves and thus position oneself to better navigate through life.
I feel compelled to share a little about what I learned about Anger. In order to manage anger one must be in touch with oneself. One must increase their own Emotional intelligence. It is good to know what pushes your triggers and causes you anger. It is doubly important to learn techniques to dispel it. Pfieffer shares a technique called Response Choice Rehearsal. This technique challenges one to do three things: 1) look at those things that make one angry, 2) to look at how one has responded and 3) examine other ways one may respond differently if given the opportunity.
One is then challenged to recreate those interactions and rehearse their response. This helps one to be aware and disciplined and gives one tools to help resolve conflict. A variety of things may cause one to be angry from mistreatment to ill health. When one has a healthy, mind, body and soul, they are better prepared to manage their anger.
The book “7” shares various facts and combinations of awareness in groups of seven. When asked to pick a number between one and ten, the majority of people pick seven. Seven is a number with which many people are comfortable. Many formulas for various degrees of success are completed within seven steps or divisions. One example is:
Unqualified Love RecognitionAcceptance ApprovalCompassion AttentionRespect
Regarding Love, Jeffrey Kluger in his Time magazine article "The New Science of Siblings (July 2006)" reveals the seven signals listed above that people give which help to forge Love.
In a married relationship these signals will serve to strengthen it by allowing a husband and wife to create intimacy. They not only help to create intimacy they help to maintain it. Every person wants Unqualified Love, Recognition, Acceptance, Approval, Compassion, Attention and Respect, especially from their helpmate.
It is my prayer that these seven signals will enhance your life and marriage. This is my confession to you this day.
-Rev. Dr. Gary A. Williams
After last week’s confession I had to rest. Interestingly, I’ve finished reading and started re-reading a Manuel on Anger Management by Richard Pfieffer as well as a book entitled “Seven: The Number For Happiness, Love and Success” by Jacqueline Leo.” They are both quite interesting and informative and give great techniques for managing anger (which by the way is a human emotion that adds depth and breathe to the human experience). Seven in particular shares many pearls of wisdom that can help one better understand life and themselves and thus position oneself to better navigate through life.
I feel compelled to share a little about what I learned about Anger. In order to manage anger one must be in touch with oneself. One must increase their own Emotional intelligence. It is good to know what pushes your triggers and causes you anger. It is doubly important to learn techniques to dispel it. Pfieffer shares a technique called Response Choice Rehearsal. This technique challenges one to do three things: 1) look at those things that make one angry, 2) to look at how one has responded and 3) examine other ways one may respond differently if given the opportunity.
One is then challenged to recreate those interactions and rehearse their response. This helps one to be aware and disciplined and gives one tools to help resolve conflict. A variety of things may cause one to be angry from mistreatment to ill health. When one has a healthy, mind, body and soul, they are better prepared to manage their anger.
The book “7” shares various facts and combinations of awareness in groups of seven. When asked to pick a number between one and ten, the majority of people pick seven. Seven is a number with which many people are comfortable. Many formulas for various degrees of success are completed within seven steps or divisions. One example is:
Unqualified Love RecognitionAcceptance ApprovalCompassion AttentionRespect
Regarding Love, Jeffrey Kluger in his Time magazine article "The New Science of Siblings (July 2006)" reveals the seven signals listed above that people give which help to forge Love.
In a married relationship these signals will serve to strengthen it by allowing a husband and wife to create intimacy. They not only help to create intimacy they help to maintain it. Every person wants Unqualified Love, Recognition, Acceptance, Approval, Compassion, Attention and Respect, especially from their helpmate.
It is my prayer that these seven signals will enhance your life and marriage. This is my confession to you this day.
-Rev. Dr. Gary A. Williams
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Confession is Good for the Soul!
February 17, 2010
That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. -Romans 10:1-10
As I scan this week’s news topics and examine what’s on the mind of our press, I am presented with news about Haiti, a scandal with the SCLC, a New York City case of brutality and a National Convention of the Tea party movement. Many secular persons are fighting for or against basic human rights and privilege. The privilege wants to stay privileged and the under served and under privilege want more accessibility.
Our world is in need of unity. We need to understand that we are on earth and experience this part of our life and journey together. We are in need of Confession... I believe a slogan that I shall borrow from a brother fraternity, “Confession is good for the Soul” says it all.
Thus let me make a confession before I share the highlights of the sermon I intend to preach this Sunday. I suspended writing “Weekly Thoughts “when I started Involuntary Leave from the United Methodist Church. Since I had no weekly commitment to preach, I decided to take a break and allow myself some rest and thought that I would allow God’s word to marinate within my soul. Since that time I have been pondering another scripture from Romans, 28
That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. -Romans 10:1-10
As I scan this week’s news topics and examine what’s on the mind of our press, I am presented with news about Haiti, a scandal with the SCLC, a New York City case of brutality and a National Convention of the Tea party movement. Many secular persons are fighting for or against basic human rights and privilege. The privilege wants to stay privileged and the under served and under privilege want more accessibility.
Our world is in need of unity. We need to understand that we are on earth and experience this part of our life and journey together. We are in need of Confession... I believe a slogan that I shall borrow from a brother fraternity, “Confession is good for the Soul” says it all.
Thus let me make a confession before I share the highlights of the sermon I intend to preach this Sunday. I suspended writing “Weekly Thoughts “when I started Involuntary Leave from the United Methodist Church. Since I had no weekly commitment to preach, I decided to take a break and allow myself some rest and thought that I would allow God’s word to marinate within my soul. Since that time I have been pondering another scripture from Romans, 28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (8:28).
My confession is that though good was all around me and indeed was breaking its head through the funk that covered me with shame, disappointment, and hurt. I had a hard time seeing and enjoying how God was still blessing me, despite the fact that I had and still have no steady income. I’ve preached more times than I can count, that God will make a way out of no way. I know can say it with updated real experiences. I can proclaim on the worst of days that, “God is good, and good all the time.” Why because I had to come to grips with my beliefs and my application of my faith as I dealt with the pain of doing my best working hard, sacrificing and then being crucified by those I sought to serve and experience others sit by idly while they proclaimed they loved me and were in my corner and did nothing.
In this involuntary state of leave, I’m living within the three points I will attempt to expound upon this Sunday. They are as follows: Regression, Profession and Confession. The word of God is real and has to be applied in real life situations.
My confession is that though good was all around me and indeed was breaking its head through the funk that covered me with shame, disappointment, and hurt. I had a hard time seeing and enjoying how God was still blessing me, despite the fact that I had and still have no steady income. I’ve preached more times than I can count, that God will make a way out of no way. I know can say it with updated real experiences. I can proclaim on the worst of days that, “God is good, and good all the time.” Why because I had to come to grips with my beliefs and my application of my faith as I dealt with the pain of doing my best working hard, sacrificing and then being crucified by those I sought to serve and experience others sit by idly while they proclaimed they loved me and were in my corner and did nothing.
In this involuntary state of leave, I’m living within the three points I will attempt to expound upon this Sunday. They are as follows: Regression, Profession and Confession. The word of God is real and has to be applied in real life situations.
As Christians we must be careful not to Regress when we are faced with difficulty. We must make sure that what we Profess is not just a trite flowery creed that we have memorized, yet holds no real power in solidifying our relationship with God. And most importantly we must Confess our faith in our attitudes and actions as we face the challenges that are inherent in life. I pray your strength in the Lord as I ask confessing Christians to pray mine.
Yours truly,
-Rev. Dr. Gary A. Williams
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Pleasure is my Birthright
This is a powerful affirmation, especially against the backdrop of theologies that focus on pain and suffering. I have long been told and I am of the mindset that if a captor has a captive’s mind, they have absolute power over the captive. It is to live worry free, without shame, guilt and anger. It is to not be paralyzed and not stay stagnant unless you choose to do so. That brings me to Greta's question, "What is a wife responsibility in creating pleasure with her husband?"
I believe that it is the wife’s responsibility to share in creating a loving, welcoming fruitful environment for growth and pleasure. She owes it to herself, her husband and her children to be happy and receive pleasure. She owes it to herself, husband and children to be healthy and fulfilled. If Mama "ain't" happy nobody's happy. That’s true for the husband as well.
Thus, it is the wife’s responsibility to be real with her husband. She should share her passions and desires and invite her husband to participate and share in them. She owes it to herself to be open and honest with her husband. It was such a relief when I found out that wives actually like sex. It was helpful when we attended our first Tantric seminar to hear Pala tell other women that “Good girls enjoy sex and that you were not a “bad” girl because you enjoyed this connection with your husband.” It was further encouraging, revealing and uplifting to hear Pala tell other woman that they were responsible for their own sexual pleasure and happiness. A burden was lifted off of my loins. I no longer felt that I had to be super stud.
A wife needs to be free to tell her husband what she wants, likes and want to try. As she opens up herself, the husband must be receptive. He must be willing to listen, speak and act in love and respect. In marriage, the sexual connection is “one” of the most powerful communication vehicles between husband and wife. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual connection that should be honored and cherished. When shared in love, it can be nurturing, relaxing and exciting. It is to be seen as a joy and a privilege and not as a dreaded task.
In looking at sex in a Tantric point of view, lovemaking is a time for husband and wife to share in a life giving and co-creating activity. As one prepares for special events in one’s week, so should a husband and wife prepare for love-making. One should prepare for lovemaking, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Uninterrupted time should be set aside. No phone calls, faxes, texts, e-mails or any other distraction should be allowed during these sacred moments. This time should be set aside for mental, emotional, spiritual and physical pleasure. This is time set aside for physical exploration and mutual enjoyment. This is a shared privilege and a shared responsibility. It is one of the many benefits of being married. It is the wife’s responsibility to participate and facilitate this sacred meeting.
Marriage is a partnership and so it behooves husband and wife to know their own and their spouse's needs. The strongest needs are emotional as Greta has pointed them out. Understanding one’s own and their spouse’s needs will open the door for a husband and wife to give and receive bountiful pleasure. A mutual desire to meet the needs of one’s spouse will help them both to honor and live out their marriage vows.
Taking responsibility for one's own happiness relieves the other of the burden of trying to make someone happy. A husband cannot make a wife happy. She has to take responsibility for her own happiness. Conversely, a husband has to be responsible for his own happiness. Together they have the responsibility of articulating their needs to each other and devising a plan to mutually meet each other’s needs.
A husband and wife should respect and care for each other and want the other part of them self to achieve their goals and reach their fullest potential. They should be willing to work alongside the other and do what's necessary to help the other without anger, a sense of loss or subservience.
True love and partnership will require sacrifice from time to time. However in pursuing pleasure, a husband and wife can live in gratitude, grateful for each other and grateful for their love. They can be self-actualized and in doing so create an environment of mutual acceptance and respect. These are key attributes to pleasure and happiness. Most of these activities occur outside of the bedroom, however when partners know that their spouse has their back, it makes pleasure in the bedroom, much easier to share. They will have experienced and received pleasure, thus it is easier for them to give it. A major component of “Making love” is having the mindset to love. It is reciprocal; it is given and received.
Early on in our relationship, Greta and I began a competition of Love. We sought to prove who could demonstrate love the best. Thus we would surprise each other with various expressions of Love from note cards to flowers to phone calls, e-mails, texts and all sorts of small gifts which demonstrated our love and proved that we did not take each other for granted. These expressions continue to bring excitement, anticipation and pleasure to us both. They demonstrate care and nurture and meet several emotional needs and are precursors to love making. I would argue that they are in themselves acts of love.
The key to giving and receiving pleasure between a husband and wife is open and honest communication. Relationships comprise more than one person. Marriages involve both husband and wife. They must pray together, love together, work together, play together and thus live life together. As most marriage vows proclaim…. “Two become One.” When a husband and wife become One, all of life ebbs and flow are shared and celebrated. This makes pleasure and love.
A husband and wife must tell each other what they want. Together they must proclaim and agree that truly, “Pleasure is their mutual birthright!”
It is a lot of fun to journey through life with the one you love. You can make it an adventure rather than a chore. Greta and I have claimed it. I pray that you and your spouse will too. Pleasure is your birthright!
Yours truky,
Rev. Dr. Gary A.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!
New opportunities present themselves each day. The New Year reminds us that life continues and we need be more than a passive recipient of that which comes our way as we experience life on a daily basis. We have the power to imagine, envision, dream and to see ourselves in positions and experiences we desire. We have the power to order our steps and to transform our mind and direct it towards the goals we set.
The power of which I speak is the faith to which we subscribe. The power of the Holy Spirit and our knowledge of Christ and Christ's work informs us of the power God makes available to us. Because Christ did so can we. We too can perform miracles as did Christ. That is if we believe in the faith described by The Holy Bible.
John 14:12 reads as follows: "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father." This is one of many powerful passages which can serve to enlighten and empower us and fuel us to move forth in the new opportunities presented to us each day.
As I recreate myself, rediscover my mission and look at the impact that I want to make, I take responsibility for my role in my life. I believe too many Christians leave everything to God in prayer. Don't get me wrong, I understand all too clearly that God is in control that God created and sustains the Heaven and the earth. I accept Jesus as my Lord, Savior and Redeemer. I also accept the fact that he calls me friend. One of my favorite songs contains the verse, "I am a friend of God. I am a friend of God I am a friend of God, He calls me friend."
Being a friend of God is awesome. With it comes great privilege and responsibility. Friends are loyal and accountable to each other. They are in relationship with each other. They respect one another and they have each other's best interest at heart. God through Christ wants to be in relationship with every human soul. As God's friend part of my responsibility is to nurture my relationship with God and challenge and help others to do the same.
I go forth in this New Year knowing that God has my best interest at heart, after all he calls me friend. As I go forth this year I go forth knowing that I can impact the world as I have been led. I can help get marriages off to a good start and I can help heal marriages. I can help men and women grow spiritually. I can share my knowledge and experiences with those who will hear. I can point the way to Christ's prosperity.
Christ himself said that I have come that you might have life and life more abundantly (John 10:10). As I move forward I move forward with an understanding that I move forward to help others, others who can benefit from me, and I can benefit from them. I move forward looking for partnerships and win-win situations. I can enjoy life and life more abundantly as I help others do the same. In doing so I will create a Happy New Year not only for myself but as well for those who covenant to walk with me for the next twelve months.
Happy New Year. I look forward to walking with you. Together let us experience the power, love and joy that is available to us, after all we have rejoiced as we have received the Hope that Christ brings and that this season reflects.
-Rev. Dr. Gary A.
New opportunities present themselves each day. The New Year reminds us that life continues and we need be more than a passive recipient of that which comes our way as we experience life on a daily basis. We have the power to imagine, envision, dream and to see ourselves in positions and experiences we desire. We have the power to order our steps and to transform our mind and direct it towards the goals we set.
The power of which I speak is the faith to which we subscribe. The power of the Holy Spirit and our knowledge of Christ and Christ's work informs us of the power God makes available to us. Because Christ did so can we. We too can perform miracles as did Christ. That is if we believe in the faith described by The Holy Bible.
John 14:12 reads as follows: "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father." This is one of many powerful passages which can serve to enlighten and empower us and fuel us to move forth in the new opportunities presented to us each day.
As I recreate myself, rediscover my mission and look at the impact that I want to make, I take responsibility for my role in my life. I believe too many Christians leave everything to God in prayer. Don't get me wrong, I understand all too clearly that God is in control that God created and sustains the Heaven and the earth. I accept Jesus as my Lord, Savior and Redeemer. I also accept the fact that he calls me friend. One of my favorite songs contains the verse, "I am a friend of God. I am a friend of God I am a friend of God, He calls me friend."
Being a friend of God is awesome. With it comes great privilege and responsibility. Friends are loyal and accountable to each other. They are in relationship with each other. They respect one another and they have each other's best interest at heart. God through Christ wants to be in relationship with every human soul. As God's friend part of my responsibility is to nurture my relationship with God and challenge and help others to do the same.
I go forth in this New Year knowing that God has my best interest at heart, after all he calls me friend. As I go forth this year I go forth knowing that I can impact the world as I have been led. I can help get marriages off to a good start and I can help heal marriages. I can help men and women grow spiritually. I can share my knowledge and experiences with those who will hear. I can point the way to Christ's prosperity.
Christ himself said that I have come that you might have life and life more abundantly (John 10:10). As I move forward I move forward with an understanding that I move forward to help others, others who can benefit from me, and I can benefit from them. I move forward looking for partnerships and win-win situations. I can enjoy life and life more abundantly as I help others do the same. In doing so I will create a Happy New Year not only for myself but as well for those who covenant to walk with me for the next twelve months.
Happy New Year. I look forward to walking with you. Together let us experience the power, love and joy that is available to us, after all we have rejoiced as we have received the Hope that Christ brings and that this season reflects.
-Rev. Dr. Gary A.
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