And he saith unto them, Be not affrighted: Ye seek Jesus of Nazareth, which was crucified: he is risen; he is not here: behold the place where they laid him. (KJV)– Mark 16:6
“He is Risen”
Each year I am blessed to learn more about “The Resurrection.” I can truly say, “He is risen indeed,” these first forty days after we have celebrated Christ’s Resurrection. It is difficult to see when you are in the middle of a storm. What may be a storm for you may not be a storm for another.
Those things that challenge you and weigh heavy upon your psyche and soul may not cause anyone else to give it a second thought. It is not until you personally are in a storm that you need to have your faith resurrected. It is not until you’ve prayed and bargained and lamented and sought to hold on to God’s unchanging hand and ignored all of the negative self talk, that you personally encounter ”The Resurrection.”
Those that believe in Christ is on a faith journey, a journey to hang out with Christ through thick and thin. It is not a matter of whether Christ will hang with you but rather if you will hang with Christ. It is easy to hang with Christ when all is going well. It is more difficult to hang when things are personally bad for you.
I was taught that when things are going well with you, you are being blessed, so consequently when things are going bad for you, you are being punished or damned. I realized that in the midst of my storm I had forgotten or chose to ignore the reality that rain falls upon the just and the unjust. I also forgot that we need rain for growth. I am reminded of a song that shares, “If I never had a problem, I wouldn’t know that God would solve them.” I believe that these statements are true, I have learned through my own resurrection that it is up to me to continue to believe and to continue to move forward despite obstacles, disappointment and setbacks.
I have learned that sometimes we need to slow down to gain new perspectives and to consider other options. I’ve learned that it is easy to look at negativity and much harder to really count our blessings. How often I have shared that if you can take a breath, walk up a flight of stairs, if you know your name, you are truly blessed. Being blessed has nothing to do with possessions; it has everything to do with who you love and who loves you back. I have been resurrected through those who I love and who truly love me. I am grateful for it is their love that resurrected me. So I too, like Jesus have been resurrected and I too have received the gospel; it “is the power of God for salvation to everyone who has faith" (Romans 1:16). Thus without a shadow of a doubt I can say, “He is Risen.” You ask me “how I know?” It is because, He is risen in me!
“Living in the Power of the Resurrection”
-Rev. Dr. Gary A. Williams
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
On Marriage
Greta and I went to a business trade show a couple of weekends ago. I had many conversations about marriage. There are so many points of views. I promised to share on my experience.
As we presented our approach to Marriage Enhancement, we experienced the thoughts of many people. We encountered bachelors, single people, begrudged monogamous couples and persons pledging never ever ever to get married again.
Not many people had anything positive to say about marriage. How disappointing. I love my marriage. I love the person, Greta, to whom I am married. I wish that everyone could receive the joy that I experience in my relationship to by friend, companion, partner, lover and truly helpmate. She is the queen of my soul, my motivation, inspiration, the mother of my children and truly my soul mate. I thank God for her.
This weekend affirmed and confirmed the work we are doing and our need to do it. So many men do not have a clue that their marriage is in trouble or at least they pretend that they don’t. They think that they are pleasing their wives when in fact they aren’t. If they could only remove their ego, stop being defensive and listen to their wife, they could be on the road to a move bountiful and blessed relationship with their wife.
Greta has shared, in previous writings, that she attempted to communicate her needs to me over the years, but when she did I either blew her off or responded in a defensive manner. As a result, she slowly began to shut down. It was not until she asked me for a divorce when I realized that I needed to change my behavior and that I needed to be more effective in conveying my love to my wife, helpmate and mother to my sons. I have listened and counseled many couples over the years. It has been my experience that couples need only stop and listen to each other as they give each other the benefit of the doubt and allow the other to speak honestly and openly from the heart. This means not getting defensive or judgmental.
It is important to keep in mind during heart conversations that you love your wife and that your wife loves you. It is important to remember that you were drawn together. It is important to know that it might hurt now, but as you have gotten through things in the past, you will get through them now. One of the many spiritual principles that Greta and I employ are the “Four Agreements” as presented by Miguel Ruiz in his book of the same name:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally.
3. Don't Make Assumptions.
4. Always Do Your Best.
We apply these spiritual truths as we seek to understand each other. Another often overlooked reality is that neither Greta nor I have the ability to read each other’s mind. Thus we ask questions regarding the other person’s behavior, feelings and thoughts. This causes us to risk ourselves and share our truths with each other. It causes us to listen without judgment and with patience. It causes us to partner and help each other experience happiness. It causes us to set goals, make plans and move in the agreed upon direction.
Too many couples are living separate lives in the houses they share and are not making their houses their home. Home is where the heart is, it is characterized by intimacy, love and all the fuzzy feelings that go along with it. Too many people disclosed that they do not communicate with their spouses and they are often traveling in two different directions. They view marriage as a chore and not as a pleasurable adventure. They lack fun, passion and spontaneous activity. Too many people were willing to share this type of information with Greta and me, but not with their own spouses with whom they have invested so much of their lives.
Many find themselves in a rut longing to get out, not knowing how. I was saddened as one person we encountered spoke of undergoing a divorce after twenty (20) years of marriage. My soul shakes as I remember the anger, hurt and disappointment he relived as he shared his ordeal with us. One brother shared with me that he didn’t need to read a book or need any help about marriage after being married close to twenty-five (25) years, while his wife shared with Greta how she was experiencing difficulty in her marriage. Based on the different conversations, it was as if they were not married to each other.
I was a bit amused by one gentleman who argued that it was unnatural for a man to have only one wife. He pointed to Africa and other cultures that practiced polygamy and after some verbal jousting; I was finally able to ask him how many wives he thought he should have? He replied, three. I asked him what was stopping him. It seems that beside it being illegal, his girlfriend wouldn’t allow it. I admitted to him that I could only handle Greta. She requires my undivided attention and affection.
Women too, lamented about marriage. They complained about dishonest, cheating, inconsiderate mates as did men. Everyone with whom I spoke focused on the physical aspect of marriage and considered sex, lack of or bad sex should be the topic of our conversation. Only a few understood that intimacy forged through open and honest communication was an attribute upon which a fulfilling marriage stands.
Good marriages are built on commitment, hard work and love. Good loving healthy marriages are possible and necessary. I recently talked with a single male in his early 30’s. In our conversation, he shared that if choosing a wife was like choosing clothes, he would have long been married. I took the bait and asked him to explain. He said that with clothes you can take them home, try them on, and if they don’t fit you can take them back. Though they shouldn’t, I believe that perhaps some people treat marriage this way, since well over half of all marriages end in divorce. Yet good marriages are desired and can be planned and lived out.
This also gave me insight into thoughts about marriage. Perhaps we think that we can custom order our marriage counter part and she/he will arrive with the specifications we request. People are not constructed in that manner and thus we must realize that it is we who construct ourselves and in so doing we have the ability to construct our marriage in the fashion we visualize. We must take responsibility for the power that we have to shape and fashion our own reality, which include our marriage relationship.
Greta and I treat our marriage as a spiritual practice. We live the spiritual principles we espouse. We look at how we can heal ourselves and work towards our own happiness as we journey together. We share openly and honestly, we love mutually and we respond in patience and love.
We believe these principles will help any couple be successful in marriage. We believe that too many people enter marriage ill- prepared and without common understandings, goals and expectations. Though most people enter marriage because they are in love and want to be with the person they marry forever, they fail to understand that they must work at making their relationship last and that they must re-create the love they experience over and over. Thus, they must make love on a continuous basis. Treating one’s marriage as a spiritual practice will build the foundation for love to be made over and over again.
Marriage is a dynamic organism; it lives and breathes rises and falls. It has it own ebb and flow as life. Thus it does not have to be boring. It can be a fun and joyous journey; these are just a few of my thoughts “On Marriage.” Thus I have decided that I am challenging Greta and me to share our message with fifty (50) married and fifty (50) engaged couple by the end of 2010. Please let us know if you are willing to help us prepare others, save and improve marriages as we follow God’s leading.
As we presented our approach to Marriage Enhancement, we experienced the thoughts of many people. We encountered bachelors, single people, begrudged monogamous couples and persons pledging never ever ever to get married again.
Not many people had anything positive to say about marriage. How disappointing. I love my marriage. I love the person, Greta, to whom I am married. I wish that everyone could receive the joy that I experience in my relationship to by friend, companion, partner, lover and truly helpmate. She is the queen of my soul, my motivation, inspiration, the mother of my children and truly my soul mate. I thank God for her.
This weekend affirmed and confirmed the work we are doing and our need to do it. So many men do not have a clue that their marriage is in trouble or at least they pretend that they don’t. They think that they are pleasing their wives when in fact they aren’t. If they could only remove their ego, stop being defensive and listen to their wife, they could be on the road to a move bountiful and blessed relationship with their wife.
Greta has shared, in previous writings, that she attempted to communicate her needs to me over the years, but when she did I either blew her off or responded in a defensive manner. As a result, she slowly began to shut down. It was not until she asked me for a divorce when I realized that I needed to change my behavior and that I needed to be more effective in conveying my love to my wife, helpmate and mother to my sons. I have listened and counseled many couples over the years. It has been my experience that couples need only stop and listen to each other as they give each other the benefit of the doubt and allow the other to speak honestly and openly from the heart. This means not getting defensive or judgmental.
It is important to keep in mind during heart conversations that you love your wife and that your wife loves you. It is important to remember that you were drawn together. It is important to know that it might hurt now, but as you have gotten through things in the past, you will get through them now. One of the many spiritual principles that Greta and I employ are the “Four Agreements” as presented by Miguel Ruiz in his book of the same name:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally.
3. Don't Make Assumptions.
4. Always Do Your Best.
We apply these spiritual truths as we seek to understand each other. Another often overlooked reality is that neither Greta nor I have the ability to read each other’s mind. Thus we ask questions regarding the other person’s behavior, feelings and thoughts. This causes us to risk ourselves and share our truths with each other. It causes us to listen without judgment and with patience. It causes us to partner and help each other experience happiness. It causes us to set goals, make plans and move in the agreed upon direction.
Too many couples are living separate lives in the houses they share and are not making their houses their home. Home is where the heart is, it is characterized by intimacy, love and all the fuzzy feelings that go along with it. Too many people disclosed that they do not communicate with their spouses and they are often traveling in two different directions. They view marriage as a chore and not as a pleasurable adventure. They lack fun, passion and spontaneous activity. Too many people were willing to share this type of information with Greta and me, but not with their own spouses with whom they have invested so much of their lives.
Many find themselves in a rut longing to get out, not knowing how. I was saddened as one person we encountered spoke of undergoing a divorce after twenty (20) years of marriage. My soul shakes as I remember the anger, hurt and disappointment he relived as he shared his ordeal with us. One brother shared with me that he didn’t need to read a book or need any help about marriage after being married close to twenty-five (25) years, while his wife shared with Greta how she was experiencing difficulty in her marriage. Based on the different conversations, it was as if they were not married to each other.
I was a bit amused by one gentleman who argued that it was unnatural for a man to have only one wife. He pointed to Africa and other cultures that practiced polygamy and after some verbal jousting; I was finally able to ask him how many wives he thought he should have? He replied, three. I asked him what was stopping him. It seems that beside it being illegal, his girlfriend wouldn’t allow it. I admitted to him that I could only handle Greta. She requires my undivided attention and affection.
Women too, lamented about marriage. They complained about dishonest, cheating, inconsiderate mates as did men. Everyone with whom I spoke focused on the physical aspect of marriage and considered sex, lack of or bad sex should be the topic of our conversation. Only a few understood that intimacy forged through open and honest communication was an attribute upon which a fulfilling marriage stands.
Good marriages are built on commitment, hard work and love. Good loving healthy marriages are possible and necessary. I recently talked with a single male in his early 30’s. In our conversation, he shared that if choosing a wife was like choosing clothes, he would have long been married. I took the bait and asked him to explain. He said that with clothes you can take them home, try them on, and if they don’t fit you can take them back. Though they shouldn’t, I believe that perhaps some people treat marriage this way, since well over half of all marriages end in divorce. Yet good marriages are desired and can be planned and lived out.
This also gave me insight into thoughts about marriage. Perhaps we think that we can custom order our marriage counter part and she/he will arrive with the specifications we request. People are not constructed in that manner and thus we must realize that it is we who construct ourselves and in so doing we have the ability to construct our marriage in the fashion we visualize. We must take responsibility for the power that we have to shape and fashion our own reality, which include our marriage relationship.
Greta and I treat our marriage as a spiritual practice. We live the spiritual principles we espouse. We look at how we can heal ourselves and work towards our own happiness as we journey together. We share openly and honestly, we love mutually and we respond in patience and love.
We believe these principles will help any couple be successful in marriage. We believe that too many people enter marriage ill- prepared and without common understandings, goals and expectations. Though most people enter marriage because they are in love and want to be with the person they marry forever, they fail to understand that they must work at making their relationship last and that they must re-create the love they experience over and over. Thus, they must make love on a continuous basis. Treating one’s marriage as a spiritual practice will build the foundation for love to be made over and over again.
Marriage is a dynamic organism; it lives and breathes rises and falls. It has it own ebb and flow as life. Thus it does not have to be boring. It can be a fun and joyous journey; these are just a few of my thoughts “On Marriage.” Thus I have decided that I am challenging Greta and me to share our message with fifty (50) married and fifty (50) engaged couple by the end of 2010. Please let us know if you are willing to help us prepare others, save and improve marriages as we follow God’s leading.
Friday, February 26, 2010
“After The Confession”
February 26, 2010
After last week’s confession I had to rest. Interestingly, I’ve finished reading and started re-reading a Manuel on Anger Management by Richard Pfieffer as well as a book entitled “Seven: The Number For Happiness, Love and Success” by Jacqueline Leo.” They are both quite interesting and informative and give great techniques for managing anger (which by the way is a human emotion that adds depth and breathe to the human experience). Seven in particular shares many pearls of wisdom that can help one better understand life and themselves and thus position oneself to better navigate through life.
I feel compelled to share a little about what I learned about Anger. In order to manage anger one must be in touch with oneself. One must increase their own Emotional intelligence. It is good to know what pushes your triggers and causes you anger. It is doubly important to learn techniques to dispel it. Pfieffer shares a technique called Response Choice Rehearsal. This technique challenges one to do three things: 1) look at those things that make one angry, 2) to look at how one has responded and 3) examine other ways one may respond differently if given the opportunity.
One is then challenged to recreate those interactions and rehearse their response. This helps one to be aware and disciplined and gives one tools to help resolve conflict. A variety of things may cause one to be angry from mistreatment to ill health. When one has a healthy, mind, body and soul, they are better prepared to manage their anger.
The book “7” shares various facts and combinations of awareness in groups of seven. When asked to pick a number between one and ten, the majority of people pick seven. Seven is a number with which many people are comfortable. Many formulas for various degrees of success are completed within seven steps or divisions. One example is:
Unqualified Love RecognitionAcceptance ApprovalCompassion AttentionRespect
Regarding Love, Jeffrey Kluger in his Time magazine article "The New Science of Siblings (July 2006)" reveals the seven signals listed above that people give which help to forge Love.
In a married relationship these signals will serve to strengthen it by allowing a husband and wife to create intimacy. They not only help to create intimacy they help to maintain it. Every person wants Unqualified Love, Recognition, Acceptance, Approval, Compassion, Attention and Respect, especially from their helpmate.
It is my prayer that these seven signals will enhance your life and marriage. This is my confession to you this day.
-Rev. Dr. Gary A. Williams
After last week’s confession I had to rest. Interestingly, I’ve finished reading and started re-reading a Manuel on Anger Management by Richard Pfieffer as well as a book entitled “Seven: The Number For Happiness, Love and Success” by Jacqueline Leo.” They are both quite interesting and informative and give great techniques for managing anger (which by the way is a human emotion that adds depth and breathe to the human experience). Seven in particular shares many pearls of wisdom that can help one better understand life and themselves and thus position oneself to better navigate through life.
I feel compelled to share a little about what I learned about Anger. In order to manage anger one must be in touch with oneself. One must increase their own Emotional intelligence. It is good to know what pushes your triggers and causes you anger. It is doubly important to learn techniques to dispel it. Pfieffer shares a technique called Response Choice Rehearsal. This technique challenges one to do three things: 1) look at those things that make one angry, 2) to look at how one has responded and 3) examine other ways one may respond differently if given the opportunity.
One is then challenged to recreate those interactions and rehearse their response. This helps one to be aware and disciplined and gives one tools to help resolve conflict. A variety of things may cause one to be angry from mistreatment to ill health. When one has a healthy, mind, body and soul, they are better prepared to manage their anger.
The book “7” shares various facts and combinations of awareness in groups of seven. When asked to pick a number between one and ten, the majority of people pick seven. Seven is a number with which many people are comfortable. Many formulas for various degrees of success are completed within seven steps or divisions. One example is:
Unqualified Love RecognitionAcceptance ApprovalCompassion AttentionRespect
Regarding Love, Jeffrey Kluger in his Time magazine article "The New Science of Siblings (July 2006)" reveals the seven signals listed above that people give which help to forge Love.
In a married relationship these signals will serve to strengthen it by allowing a husband and wife to create intimacy. They not only help to create intimacy they help to maintain it. Every person wants Unqualified Love, Recognition, Acceptance, Approval, Compassion, Attention and Respect, especially from their helpmate.
It is my prayer that these seven signals will enhance your life and marriage. This is my confession to you this day.
-Rev. Dr. Gary A. Williams
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Confession is Good for the Soul!
February 17, 2010
That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. -Romans 10:1-10
As I scan this week’s news topics and examine what’s on the mind of our press, I am presented with news about Haiti, a scandal with the SCLC, a New York City case of brutality and a National Convention of the Tea party movement. Many secular persons are fighting for or against basic human rights and privilege. The privilege wants to stay privileged and the under served and under privilege want more accessibility.
Our world is in need of unity. We need to understand that we are on earth and experience this part of our life and journey together. We are in need of Confession... I believe a slogan that I shall borrow from a brother fraternity, “Confession is good for the Soul” says it all.
Thus let me make a confession before I share the highlights of the sermon I intend to preach this Sunday. I suspended writing “Weekly Thoughts “when I started Involuntary Leave from the United Methodist Church. Since I had no weekly commitment to preach, I decided to take a break and allow myself some rest and thought that I would allow God’s word to marinate within my soul. Since that time I have been pondering another scripture from Romans, 28
That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. -Romans 10:1-10
As I scan this week’s news topics and examine what’s on the mind of our press, I am presented with news about Haiti, a scandal with the SCLC, a New York City case of brutality and a National Convention of the Tea party movement. Many secular persons are fighting for or against basic human rights and privilege. The privilege wants to stay privileged and the under served and under privilege want more accessibility.
Our world is in need of unity. We need to understand that we are on earth and experience this part of our life and journey together. We are in need of Confession... I believe a slogan that I shall borrow from a brother fraternity, “Confession is good for the Soul” says it all.
Thus let me make a confession before I share the highlights of the sermon I intend to preach this Sunday. I suspended writing “Weekly Thoughts “when I started Involuntary Leave from the United Methodist Church. Since I had no weekly commitment to preach, I decided to take a break and allow myself some rest and thought that I would allow God’s word to marinate within my soul. Since that time I have been pondering another scripture from Romans, 28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (8:28).
My confession is that though good was all around me and indeed was breaking its head through the funk that covered me with shame, disappointment, and hurt. I had a hard time seeing and enjoying how God was still blessing me, despite the fact that I had and still have no steady income. I’ve preached more times than I can count, that God will make a way out of no way. I know can say it with updated real experiences. I can proclaim on the worst of days that, “God is good, and good all the time.” Why because I had to come to grips with my beliefs and my application of my faith as I dealt with the pain of doing my best working hard, sacrificing and then being crucified by those I sought to serve and experience others sit by idly while they proclaimed they loved me and were in my corner and did nothing.
In this involuntary state of leave, I’m living within the three points I will attempt to expound upon this Sunday. They are as follows: Regression, Profession and Confession. The word of God is real and has to be applied in real life situations.
My confession is that though good was all around me and indeed was breaking its head through the funk that covered me with shame, disappointment, and hurt. I had a hard time seeing and enjoying how God was still blessing me, despite the fact that I had and still have no steady income. I’ve preached more times than I can count, that God will make a way out of no way. I know can say it with updated real experiences. I can proclaim on the worst of days that, “God is good, and good all the time.” Why because I had to come to grips with my beliefs and my application of my faith as I dealt with the pain of doing my best working hard, sacrificing and then being crucified by those I sought to serve and experience others sit by idly while they proclaimed they loved me and were in my corner and did nothing.
In this involuntary state of leave, I’m living within the three points I will attempt to expound upon this Sunday. They are as follows: Regression, Profession and Confession. The word of God is real and has to be applied in real life situations.
As Christians we must be careful not to Regress when we are faced with difficulty. We must make sure that what we Profess is not just a trite flowery creed that we have memorized, yet holds no real power in solidifying our relationship with God. And most importantly we must Confess our faith in our attitudes and actions as we face the challenges that are inherent in life. I pray your strength in the Lord as I ask confessing Christians to pray mine.
Yours truly,
-Rev. Dr. Gary A. Williams
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Pleasure is my Birthright
This is a powerful affirmation, especially against the backdrop of theologies that focus on pain and suffering. I have long been told and I am of the mindset that if a captor has a captive’s mind, they have absolute power over the captive. It is to live worry free, without shame, guilt and anger. It is to not be paralyzed and not stay stagnant unless you choose to do so. That brings me to Greta's question, "What is a wife responsibility in creating pleasure with her husband?"
I believe that it is the wife’s responsibility to share in creating a loving, welcoming fruitful environment for growth and pleasure. She owes it to herself, her husband and her children to be happy and receive pleasure. She owes it to herself, husband and children to be healthy and fulfilled. If Mama "ain't" happy nobody's happy. That’s true for the husband as well.
Thus, it is the wife’s responsibility to be real with her husband. She should share her passions and desires and invite her husband to participate and share in them. She owes it to herself to be open and honest with her husband. It was such a relief when I found out that wives actually like sex. It was helpful when we attended our first Tantric seminar to hear Pala tell other women that “Good girls enjoy sex and that you were not a “bad” girl because you enjoyed this connection with your husband.” It was further encouraging, revealing and uplifting to hear Pala tell other woman that they were responsible for their own sexual pleasure and happiness. A burden was lifted off of my loins. I no longer felt that I had to be super stud.
A wife needs to be free to tell her husband what she wants, likes and want to try. As she opens up herself, the husband must be receptive. He must be willing to listen, speak and act in love and respect. In marriage, the sexual connection is “one” of the most powerful communication vehicles between husband and wife. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual connection that should be honored and cherished. When shared in love, it can be nurturing, relaxing and exciting. It is to be seen as a joy and a privilege and not as a dreaded task.
In looking at sex in a Tantric point of view, lovemaking is a time for husband and wife to share in a life giving and co-creating activity. As one prepares for special events in one’s week, so should a husband and wife prepare for love-making. One should prepare for lovemaking, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Uninterrupted time should be set aside. No phone calls, faxes, texts, e-mails or any other distraction should be allowed during these sacred moments. This time should be set aside for mental, emotional, spiritual and physical pleasure. This is time set aside for physical exploration and mutual enjoyment. This is a shared privilege and a shared responsibility. It is one of the many benefits of being married. It is the wife’s responsibility to participate and facilitate this sacred meeting.
Marriage is a partnership and so it behooves husband and wife to know their own and their spouse's needs. The strongest needs are emotional as Greta has pointed them out. Understanding one’s own and their spouse’s needs will open the door for a husband and wife to give and receive bountiful pleasure. A mutual desire to meet the needs of one’s spouse will help them both to honor and live out their marriage vows.
Taking responsibility for one's own happiness relieves the other of the burden of trying to make someone happy. A husband cannot make a wife happy. She has to take responsibility for her own happiness. Conversely, a husband has to be responsible for his own happiness. Together they have the responsibility of articulating their needs to each other and devising a plan to mutually meet each other’s needs.
A husband and wife should respect and care for each other and want the other part of them self to achieve their goals and reach their fullest potential. They should be willing to work alongside the other and do what's necessary to help the other without anger, a sense of loss or subservience.
True love and partnership will require sacrifice from time to time. However in pursuing pleasure, a husband and wife can live in gratitude, grateful for each other and grateful for their love. They can be self-actualized and in doing so create an environment of mutual acceptance and respect. These are key attributes to pleasure and happiness. Most of these activities occur outside of the bedroom, however when partners know that their spouse has their back, it makes pleasure in the bedroom, much easier to share. They will have experienced and received pleasure, thus it is easier for them to give it. A major component of “Making love” is having the mindset to love. It is reciprocal; it is given and received.
Early on in our relationship, Greta and I began a competition of Love. We sought to prove who could demonstrate love the best. Thus we would surprise each other with various expressions of Love from note cards to flowers to phone calls, e-mails, texts and all sorts of small gifts which demonstrated our love and proved that we did not take each other for granted. These expressions continue to bring excitement, anticipation and pleasure to us both. They demonstrate care and nurture and meet several emotional needs and are precursors to love making. I would argue that they are in themselves acts of love.
The key to giving and receiving pleasure between a husband and wife is open and honest communication. Relationships comprise more than one person. Marriages involve both husband and wife. They must pray together, love together, work together, play together and thus live life together. As most marriage vows proclaim…. “Two become One.” When a husband and wife become One, all of life ebbs and flow are shared and celebrated. This makes pleasure and love.
A husband and wife must tell each other what they want. Together they must proclaim and agree that truly, “Pleasure is their mutual birthright!”
It is a lot of fun to journey through life with the one you love. You can make it an adventure rather than a chore. Greta and I have claimed it. I pray that you and your spouse will too. Pleasure is your birthright!
Yours truky,
Rev. Dr. Gary A.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!
New opportunities present themselves each day. The New Year reminds us that life continues and we need be more than a passive recipient of that which comes our way as we experience life on a daily basis. We have the power to imagine, envision, dream and to see ourselves in positions and experiences we desire. We have the power to order our steps and to transform our mind and direct it towards the goals we set.
The power of which I speak is the faith to which we subscribe. The power of the Holy Spirit and our knowledge of Christ and Christ's work informs us of the power God makes available to us. Because Christ did so can we. We too can perform miracles as did Christ. That is if we believe in the faith described by The Holy Bible.
John 14:12 reads as follows: "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father." This is one of many powerful passages which can serve to enlighten and empower us and fuel us to move forth in the new opportunities presented to us each day.
As I recreate myself, rediscover my mission and look at the impact that I want to make, I take responsibility for my role in my life. I believe too many Christians leave everything to God in prayer. Don't get me wrong, I understand all too clearly that God is in control that God created and sustains the Heaven and the earth. I accept Jesus as my Lord, Savior and Redeemer. I also accept the fact that he calls me friend. One of my favorite songs contains the verse, "I am a friend of God. I am a friend of God I am a friend of God, He calls me friend."
Being a friend of God is awesome. With it comes great privilege and responsibility. Friends are loyal and accountable to each other. They are in relationship with each other. They respect one another and they have each other's best interest at heart. God through Christ wants to be in relationship with every human soul. As God's friend part of my responsibility is to nurture my relationship with God and challenge and help others to do the same.
I go forth in this New Year knowing that God has my best interest at heart, after all he calls me friend. As I go forth this year I go forth knowing that I can impact the world as I have been led. I can help get marriages off to a good start and I can help heal marriages. I can help men and women grow spiritually. I can share my knowledge and experiences with those who will hear. I can point the way to Christ's prosperity.
Christ himself said that I have come that you might have life and life more abundantly (John 10:10). As I move forward I move forward with an understanding that I move forward to help others, others who can benefit from me, and I can benefit from them. I move forward looking for partnerships and win-win situations. I can enjoy life and life more abundantly as I help others do the same. In doing so I will create a Happy New Year not only for myself but as well for those who covenant to walk with me for the next twelve months.
Happy New Year. I look forward to walking with you. Together let us experience the power, love and joy that is available to us, after all we have rejoiced as we have received the Hope that Christ brings and that this season reflects.
-Rev. Dr. Gary A.
New opportunities present themselves each day. The New Year reminds us that life continues and we need be more than a passive recipient of that which comes our way as we experience life on a daily basis. We have the power to imagine, envision, dream and to see ourselves in positions and experiences we desire. We have the power to order our steps and to transform our mind and direct it towards the goals we set.
The power of which I speak is the faith to which we subscribe. The power of the Holy Spirit and our knowledge of Christ and Christ's work informs us of the power God makes available to us. Because Christ did so can we. We too can perform miracles as did Christ. That is if we believe in the faith described by The Holy Bible.
John 14:12 reads as follows: "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father." This is one of many powerful passages which can serve to enlighten and empower us and fuel us to move forth in the new opportunities presented to us each day.
As I recreate myself, rediscover my mission and look at the impact that I want to make, I take responsibility for my role in my life. I believe too many Christians leave everything to God in prayer. Don't get me wrong, I understand all too clearly that God is in control that God created and sustains the Heaven and the earth. I accept Jesus as my Lord, Savior and Redeemer. I also accept the fact that he calls me friend. One of my favorite songs contains the verse, "I am a friend of God. I am a friend of God I am a friend of God, He calls me friend."
Being a friend of God is awesome. With it comes great privilege and responsibility. Friends are loyal and accountable to each other. They are in relationship with each other. They respect one another and they have each other's best interest at heart. God through Christ wants to be in relationship with every human soul. As God's friend part of my responsibility is to nurture my relationship with God and challenge and help others to do the same.
I go forth in this New Year knowing that God has my best interest at heart, after all he calls me friend. As I go forth this year I go forth knowing that I can impact the world as I have been led. I can help get marriages off to a good start and I can help heal marriages. I can help men and women grow spiritually. I can share my knowledge and experiences with those who will hear. I can point the way to Christ's prosperity.
Christ himself said that I have come that you might have life and life more abundantly (John 10:10). As I move forward I move forward with an understanding that I move forward to help others, others who can benefit from me, and I can benefit from them. I move forward looking for partnerships and win-win situations. I can enjoy life and life more abundantly as I help others do the same. In doing so I will create a Happy New Year not only for myself but as well for those who covenant to walk with me for the next twelve months.
Happy New Year. I look forward to walking with you. Together let us experience the power, love and joy that is available to us, after all we have rejoiced as we have received the Hope that Christ brings and that this season reflects.
-Rev. Dr. Gary A.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
A Herald Is Needed!
Two Sunday's ago, I attended two churches. Both dealt as you probably guessed, preached and taught on Advent. Christ is coming. I spoke with a friend who has done years of studying different religions and faith stance. He attended both services with me and reminded me that Christmas really has nothing to do with Christ.
For a moment I was stunned and then my research came back to remembrance. As we drove Greta, Corey and I discussed the most segregated hour of the week. At one church we attended somewhat represented the kingdom of God as I understand it. It was integrated and had a variety of ethnic groups, ages and preferences.
Both pastors highlighted Peace and the Hope of Peace that this yuletide season represents. As I observe the television, internet and print advertisements, I come to a conclusion that truly indeed a herald is needed, actually several. Christmas was appropriated by followers of Christ to proclaim our Lord and Savior Jesus's birth. Though we don't know the exact day of Jesus birth, we celebrate it on Christmas.
This birth is about much more than gift giving and partying, though I believe both can be a part when properly executed. Christmas is about love, joy and freedom. It is about someone, something, and some principles that are larger than ourselves. Christmas is about taking a pause and breathing. It is about sharing love to those who matter most. It is a culmination of knowing how much we are loved by God and our experience at sharing it with others not just on Christmas, but throughout the year. Christmas is an event, but it is more than that, Christmas for Christians is a celebration of a lifestyle.
A lifestyle where we know we are loved and thus we love.
A lifestyle where we have joy and thus we give joy.
A lifestyle where we Hope and inspire others to Hope.
Christmas for Christians is a time where we celebrate the continual presence of God in our lives as we live out the principles which Christ taught, not just on December 25th but on everyday of the year.
Merry Christmas!!!
For a moment I was stunned and then my research came back to remembrance. As we drove Greta, Corey and I discussed the most segregated hour of the week. At one church we attended somewhat represented the kingdom of God as I understand it. It was integrated and had a variety of ethnic groups, ages and preferences.
Both pastors highlighted Peace and the Hope of Peace that this yuletide season represents. As I observe the television, internet and print advertisements, I come to a conclusion that truly indeed a herald is needed, actually several. Christmas was appropriated by followers of Christ to proclaim our Lord and Savior Jesus's birth. Though we don't know the exact day of Jesus birth, we celebrate it on Christmas.
This birth is about much more than gift giving and partying, though I believe both can be a part when properly executed. Christmas is about love, joy and freedom. It is about someone, something, and some principles that are larger than ourselves. Christmas is about taking a pause and breathing. It is about sharing love to those who matter most. It is a culmination of knowing how much we are loved by God and our experience at sharing it with others not just on Christmas, but throughout the year. Christmas is an event, but it is more than that, Christmas for Christians is a celebration of a lifestyle.
A lifestyle where we know we are loved and thus we love.
A lifestyle where we have joy and thus we give joy.
A lifestyle where we Hope and inspire others to Hope.
Christmas for Christians is a time where we celebrate the continual presence of God in our lives as we live out the principles which Christ taught, not just on December 25th but on everyday of the year.
Merry Christmas!!!
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